Long-term effects of Varsity Nordic’s 24-hour show begin to be seen Anthony Reale, Scented Tracksuit April 25, 2019
Influx of optimistic students breaks Whitties’ brains over Admitted Students’ Weekend Anthony Reale, Babyback Lips April 19, 2019
BREAKING: Out of jail for now, Whitman College CFO walks free Anthony Reale, Chronic Spatula April 7, 2019
Brave Whittie eats as many rocks as he possibly can during climbing trip over spring break Anthony Reale, Infrequent Rock Toucher April 3, 2019
OCS finally commits murder to get a student to go abroad Anthony Reale, Decaffeinated Honeydew Officer February 28, 2019
Bluewood excited to announce new technique for keeping students at P&P Anthony Reale, Unofficial Bullhorn February 24, 2019
Student Surveillance Soars to Sensational State! Anthony Reale, Moistest Envelope Licker ’73 February 8, 2019
After Success of Chuck E. Cleaves, Board of Trustees and Administrators Look to the Seas for New Way to Drain Endowment Anthony Reale, Can Opener’s Brother-in-Law January 29, 2019
Penrose Library excited to light books on fire to keep the bathrooms hellishly warm during this winter season Anthony Reale, Farm Animal November 16, 2018
Zumba Club Arrested Over Ritual Sacrifice Allegations Anthony Reale, Dumpster City’s No. 1 Food Critic October 25, 2018
All campus statues to be retrofitted with speakers that endlessly blast “Business to Learn” Anthony Reale, Corbin Bleu Impersonator September 28, 2018
Theatre reportedly not doing another musical for the next 400,000 years Anthony Reale, Skrillex Apologist September 24, 2018
Best of 2017-2018: That One Fucking Annoying Kid is Abroad This Semester Anthony Reale, Sexy Prison Wife May 3, 2018
P&P Battens Down the Hatches as the White Feminists Approach, Rubbing their Hands Voraciously Anthony Reale, Line Pusher February 22, 2018
White Smoke Billows Out of the Climbing Gym; Crowds Eagerly Await Announcement of next Rock Pope Anthony Reale, Mickey Shin’s Cheez-It Fetish February 8, 2018
Obituary: Class of 2021’s Individuality is Dead at 4 Months Old Anthony Reale, Amateur Mortician January 25, 2018
Who’s on Amazon’s Corporate Leash? Us. Anthony Reale, Not an Egomaniacal Supervillain, That’s for Sure October 25, 2017
Tony Talks: Have a Nice Trip, See You Next Autumn Anthony Reale, Grand Chairman of All Scorpios October 19, 2017
Tywen and Martina received a roast! Anthony Reale, Recently Fired Former Editor of the Satire Page September 28, 2017
Tony Talks: Elevators and Extraterrestrials Anthony Reale, Passionate Flautist Photographer September 19, 2017
Whitman First-Years Shut Down School Anthony Reale, Garbage Collector of the Year, 2014 August 25, 2017
ComRADe: the Passionate Communism Housed Within Campus Skateboarding Culture Anthony Reale, The Guy Who Would End Up a Cook if He Were Drafted April 27, 2017
Bob Dylan Reluctantly Accepts Nobel Prize Anthony Reale, Not a Squirrel Piloting a Human Suit April 13, 2017
Disney Teaches Brutal Lesson about Global Warming by Shutting Down Club Penguin Anthony Reale, News Retorter February 23, 2017
Nate Silver To Be Burned At Stake For Incorrect Election Predictions Anthony Reale, Tortilla Salesman January 26, 2017
OP Introduces New Beginning Kayaking Trip in Reid Basement Anthony Reale, Barometric Pressurer January 26, 2017
