In the News this Week

Anthony Reale, MySpace Guru

Area man disappointed to find no whittling classes at Whitman College

Feminism discovered to be cure for most serious diseases

Campus celebrates as DVD screensaver hits exact corner of television screen

Marrra having the fucking time of her life away from The Wire

All vegans on earth reveal secret meat stashes

Reese Witherspoon confirms role in creation of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups

The danger of white feminism revealed to be lactose

Popular campus frisbee player connected to string of murders across Walla Walla

Slacklining proven to be not bad for your health, just annoying

Remake of the Titanic set to be filmed in Lakum Duckum

Straight, white males of America honestly feeling so attacked right now