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Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Vol. CLVII
Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Illustration by Genesis Lobos.

Short King: An Insult in Sheep’s Clothing

Luther Harper, Opinion Columnist November 14, 2025

What qualifies a man as short? If we are working off of the US national average, then anyone under 5’9” risks being labelled as such. If we take a more international scope we see that the Netherlands...

Do Yourself a Favor and Watch Chainsaw Man

Calliope Duford, Opinion Columnist November 14, 2025

When logging with a chainsaw, there is a risk of the tip of its guide bar suddenly hitting an object, causing the saw to “kick back.” This phenomenon is what gives the iconic opening credits song of...

Illustration by Eva Mangahas.

The Dodgers Are Ruining Baseball

Oliver Song, Opinion Columnist November 14, 2025

Well, it happened. The Los Angeles Dodgers have just hoisted the 2025 World Series trophy over their stupid little heads. Again. This makes them the only baseball team in 25 years to win the whole thing...

Ozempic Nation

Ayat’arrahman Mahmoudi and Stephan Hermann November 7, 2025

Corporations make their money re-selling our insecurity, distilled into an injection pen and wrapped in a tempting label. It's a manipulative system that preys on that ill-informed image of American health...

The Left is Eating Itself Alive

Oliver Song, Opinion Columnist November 7, 2025

Democratic nominee Zohran Mamdani won the mayoral election in New York City on Tuesday, defeating disgraced former governor and Independent nominee Andrew Cuomo amid a massive blue wave in elections across...

Illustration by Mar Tachek.

The Advertisement Epidemic

Calliope Duford, Opinion Columnist November 7, 2025

Back in 2016, mobile games developer Playrix released "Gardenscapes." Featuring a butler who guides the player through a match-three adventure to fix up a cartoon garden, it was soon named a top-100 mobile...

Illustration by Lucas Pinaire.

Hating the Man in the Mirror: Young Men’s Toxic Body Images

Luther Harper, Opinion Columnist October 31, 2025

Bulging biceps, popping pectorals and black tank tops as far as the eye can see: this is the average view at the Baker Ferguson Fitness Center (BFFC). For many, the sheer size of many of the men who seem...

Leaving Vineland: What One Battle After Another Forgets

Oliver Song, Opinion Columnist October 31, 2025

When I heard in the summer of 2023 that Paul Thomas Anderson was not only in production on a new film, but a Pynchon adaptation starring Leo DiCaprio, I was beside myself with excitement. PTA was a man...

Illustration by Avery Hargrove.

I’m a (Transmasculine) Barbie Girl!

Stephan Hermann, Opinion Columnist October 31, 2025

Pink has always been my favorite color, though I tried my best to deny it as a child. I told my mother that I wasn’t like the girls with the sparkles and giggling about boys and their pink winter coats....

Illustration by Lucas Pinaire.

Where the Sidewalk Ends (Where Accessibility Should Begin)

Stephan Hermann, Opinion Columnist October 24, 2025

Whitman College is a beautiful stretch of green fields, bridges over babbling streams, and picturesque buildings set amongst the trees. And that’s the problem. When I first arrived at Whitman College...

Illustration by Eva Mangahas.

Poetry In Motion: Pay Attention to American Football

Luther Harper, Opinion Columnist October 24, 2025

Misery comes in many flavors. For some, it’s mint chocolate chip, for others it’s being cold-called in class. Euphoria, too, is diverse in its appearances, yet as diverse as the eliciting factors for...

A Swift Decline

Calliope Duford, Opinion Columnist October 24, 2025

In my ideal world, Taylor Swift is someone whom I’ve heard of. Maybe I could hum along to a song or two of hers that blew up on the radio, but I certainly wouldn’t be able to name even a single album....

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