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Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Vol. CLVII
Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Illustration by Avery Hargrove.

Let’s Get Sarah Bolton on Ziwe

Natalie Guest, Humor Writer May 1, 2026

Guys, I don’t know if anyone else has noticed, but things have not been going so hot on campus of late. The decisions of our administration are becoming ever more confusing, and their motives remain...

Life Lessons from Freshman Year

Charlie Staudinger, Humor Writer May 1, 2026

As the sun begins to set on my freshman year at Whitman College, I find myself reflecting on the past two semesters with mixed emotion. I’ve met some amazing people who I hope to carry with me through...

Illustration by Sylvie King.

BoT Uses Tuition for Human Centipede

Charlie Staudinger, Humor Writer April 24, 2026

As Whitman College begins buying up more and more land in the surrounding Walla Walla Valley, questions have started surfacing as to what they’re using all that land for. Call them crazy, but students...

Illustration by Genesis Lobos.

The Polyamorous Ducks of Whitman College

Natalie Guest, Humor Writer April 17, 2026

One of the perks of attending Whitman College is that it has such a high duck population. The ducks are cute, they’re friendly and you can see them all over campus! However, if you pay close attention,...

Illustration by Sylvie King.

Your Designer Dogs Are Ugly. Sorry.

AJ Johnson, Humor Writer April 17, 2026

I’m sorry, but… well, they are! I don’t know how I’m going to stretch this article into 300+ words; it just seems intuitive, you know? Like, the sun rises in the east, water is wet and your purebred...

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