Three weeks ago, if you took a gander about the Whitman College campus, you’d find many students sporting little strands of shiny plastic in their hair. While an unknowing observer might find this an...
Grace Canny, class of 2016, oh what a year
• April 27, 2023
Whitman College wants to extend the warmest welcome to our newly arrived Class of 2027. These students have earned their admission to our fantastic college by being exceptional students and even more...
After greeting the future Whittie class of 2027 at Admitted Students Day, Whitman now braces itself for an influx of failed applicants to reach campus on Rejected Students Day.
Whitman’s most unusual...
Lee Thomas, ouch ooh ouchie owwwieee
• April 27, 2023
May has big things in store for Walla Walla. The opening week of the month is Spring Release Weekend for new wines, so the town will be filled with live music, good food and eager tourists. The following...
The following is a statement submitted to The Wire by an unknown Whitman student:
The theater is a strange place. Its physical design completely shuts off the exterior world to create a whole new world...
Lee Thomas, ex-boyfriend bounty hunter
• April 20, 2023
Dear Auntie Lee,
There's someone in my life who I suspect might be into me. I'm totally down for a relationship with them, but I don't want to make the jump only to find out they were being platonic...
In the recent wave of students seeking summer employment, several Whitman students resorted to citing their Myers-Briggs personality type under "special skills.” The trend began with psychology senior,...
Grace Canny, owner of four lightly used hospital beds
• April 20, 2023
You knew her, you loved her: the forsale-digest. It’s not enough for Google to be surveilling us constantly, they also have to be lame and abandon the digest format. The tireless tech administrators...
Ian Lewis, absolutely anxiety-free
• April 20, 2023
Throwback!
If there’s one thing people always say, it’s that April’s all about nostalgia. There’s nothing quite like reminiscing on the past. Whether it’s cherished family memories or some...
Samantha Fitts, down bad for animated women
• April 13, 2023
Warning: This review contains spoilers.
I hate to admit it, but this movie did not have the right to be as good as it actually was. "The Super Mario Bros. Movie" is a kid’s film first and foremost,...
In an event that got moderate YikYak attention, the April Fool, for whom the day was named, sat on Whitman's own Ankeny Field on March 31. The April Fool gave out prizes, including loose grass and...
Lee Thomas, Not immune to vampiric seduction
• April 13, 2023
In shocking news this week, the citizens of Walla Walla were alerted by the city government about a vampire infestation throughout town. What was thought to be mere rumors was proven true when the local...
