Lee Thomas, Has anyone seen my sanity anywhere recently?
• September 22, 2022
Submitting for honors by October, grad materials by November, scheduling senior check-ins … what more could we possibly need to do to get out of this joint? Well, don't hold your breath, because I've...
Carmel Stephan, The real life taxman (watch out)
• September 22, 2022
For those of you who may not be privy, last Friday, the Whitman College Instagram posted a Beatlesque “Happy Friday” post of new President (and secret fifth Beatle?) Sarah Bolton. As it turns out,...
Conor Bartol, Author of "Robin Hood vs. Godzilla" (not yet published)
• September 22, 2022
Newly elected crowned monarch King Charles had the chance to reign for a good ten, maybe twenty years if he was lucky. But it seems that chance may be gone forever, after a young boy in England pulled...
As the 2022 school year has gotten off to a hot start, Whitman students have been suddenly possessed with the absolute certainty that someone, somehow, is going to fuck it up.
Despite eventual failure,...
Grace Canny, interior designer extraordinaire
• September 15, 2022
I’m sure you've been to one of these abodes — quirkily named, maybe a little run down, but not without charm! The kitchen might be small, and maybe the house is lacking AC, but the third bedroom supposedly...
Ian Lewis, President and Founder of the Whitman Wire
• September 15, 2022
In a blow to amateur ghostbusters across campus, the so-called “Olin Specter” has been discovered to merely be Herbert Greene, an associate professor and longtime member of Whitman’s Classics...
Carmel Stephan, Yes it’s me, Playbuzz Editor in Chief
• September 15, 2022
Are you tech-oriented, or better with an axe and saw? Is your room the hub of all social activities, or used only for homework and sleeping? Are you pretty, or are you confusing to look at?
Believe...
Lee Thomas, Fart Simulator global 100% speed-run champion
• September 15, 2022
217 East Alder Street sits vacant as the fall semester starts – an empty shell of the divine sanctuary it once was. The downtown Goodwill was a source of fire fits, themed party get-ups and the ever...
Conor Bartol, on “real thin ice, buddy”
• May 12, 2022
I see people in the street and they say to me, “Conor! It must be nice, living life as a devil-may-care humor writer for the illustrious publication The Whitman Wire! Surely your profession must...
Rachel Husband, Can I spit on you? Sorry, that's my STEM elitism talking
• May 12, 2022
If you know me, then you know I’m an ES-Bio major recently diagnosed with mental illness, I abhor the discipline of sociology and I only believe in sticking to themes at the MET gala. Here are my rankings...
Here’s the truth: I am deeply saddened to see Kathy Murray leave Whitman College. She brought me fame, a weensy fortune and a wealth of joy in my time as a humor writer and editor for The Wire.
I’ve...
Ben Kearney, Been Third Wheeling since I was Two Years Old
• May 12, 2022
Alright all you lonely hearts club members, the time has come to put you in the spotlight. No, it’s not a ticket onto Love Island, wouldn’t we all love that. But as someone that has been stuck between...
