Rachel Husband, This is NOT Autobiographical
• May 6, 2021
One first year, who wished to remain unnamed because it’s none of your fucking business, has reported spending half of the semester on various toilets around campus.
Lactose intolerance occurs when...
Cade Schott, Journalist and not afraid of a little pee
• May 6, 2021
Several weeks ago it was reported that Kathy Murray failed to leave a tip after her dinner at the Walla Walla Steak Co. Below is a response to the backlash from the soon-to-be former president of Whitman...
Conor Bartol, stuck on roof trying to get frisbee, send help
• May 6, 2021
Barnes and Noble’s imminent takeover of the Whitman bookstore has “opened the floodgates” for companies that hope to make part of the school their own, inundating the Whitman administration with...
Since the start of the semester, discussions have repeatedly arisen about the evident consequences of a reduced spring break. The vacation designed for getting blasted in Miami has been adapted to avoid...
Sam Huston, really likes Tyler, The Creator
• April 29, 2021
With his spectacularly flamboyant and satanic music video, Lil’ Nas X has set a high bar for celebrities who wish to open up about their sexuality in dramatic fashion. Here are several others who have...
Conor Bartol, definitely not multiple ducks in a trenchcoat
• April 29, 2021
Following the announcement of President Kathy Murray’s retirement, Whitman will decide the new president via a thrilling “Whitman’s Got Talent” competition.
The presidential search committee...
Things are heating up: the sun is out and the weather is hot, and students are finally able to show off their equally hot, hot bods. While there's no one style for college students to strive for, and while...
We, the Whitman community, would like to honor and remember Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh, Earl of Merioneth and Baron Greenwich, Knight of the Most Noble Order of the Garter, Knight of the Most Ancient...
Sam Huston, virgin, except for butt stuff
• April 22, 2021
With the majority of Whitman’s population beginning the vaccination process, students have been celebrating their bodies and antibodies. Some are aiming to make up for the quantity of coitus COVID isolation...
Conor Bartol, Proud Time-Traveler since 2045
• April 22, 2021
Spring has sprung and the ducklings have hatched! As we welcome a new generation of the most important creatures on campus, remember some simple rules for what to do, and what not to do, with our new...
Okay, so you’re not literally renaming a building on campus—that probably requires large sums of money and bribery. This approach costs no money and takes only guts, creativity and a little bit of...
Cade Schott , journalist and literally the current ASWC Oversight Chair
• April 22, 2021
The results of ASWC’s 2021-22 Presidential election were released last week. Thanks to the work of this year’s Oversight Chair (who humbly chose to be unnamed) it was totally free of fraudulent voting;...
