Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Illustration by Holly VanVoorhis.

Tinseling craze linked to pubic lice epidemic

Rachel Husband, itching & scratching April 27, 2023

Three weeks ago, if you took a gander about the Whitman College campus, you’d find many students sporting little strands of shiny plastic in their hair. While an unknowing observer might find this an...

Illustration by Payton Davies.

Class of 2027: by the numbers

Grace Canny, class of 2016, oh what a year April 27, 2023

Whitman College wants to extend the warmest welcome to our newly arrived Class of 2027. These students have earned their admission to our fantastic college by being exceptional students and even more...

Whitman braces itself for Rejected Students Day

Ian Lewis, shockingly admitted April 27, 2023

After greeting the future Whittie class of 2027 at Admitted Students Day, Whitman now braces itself for an influx of failed applicants to reach campus on Rejected Students Day. Whitman’s most unusual...

Annual “Poor Person Cosplay Convention” to be held at Marcus Whitman hotel

Lee Thomas, ouch ooh ouchie owwwieee April 27, 2023

May has big things in store for Walla Walla. The opening week of the month is Spring Release Weekend for new wines, so the town will be filled with live music, good food and eager tourists. The following...

Confessions of a self-aware theater kid

Carmel Stephan, mouth of words April 27, 2023

The following is a statement submitted to The Wire by an unknown Whitman student: The theater is a strange place. Its physical design completely shuts off the exterior world to create a whole new world...

Illustration by M Hu.

Auntie Lee’s insight on romantic indicators

Lee Thomas, ex-boyfriend bounty hunter April 20, 2023

Dear Auntie Lee, There's someone in my life who I suspect might be into me. I'm totally down for a relationship with them, but I don't want to make the jump only to find out they were being platonic...

Illustration by Amelia Ebling.

Students start putting Myers Briggs personality type on resumes

Carmel Stephan, career advisor April 20, 2023

In the recent wave of students seeking summer employment, several Whitman students resorted to citing their Myers-Briggs personality type under "special skills.” The trend began with psychology senior,...

Grieving the forsale-digest

Grace Canny, owner of four lightly used hospital beds April 20, 2023

You knew her, you loved her: the forsale-digest. It’s not enough for Google to be surveilling us constantly, they also have to be lame and abandon the digest format. The tireless tech administrators...

Throwback Thursday: that time you embarrassed yourself in middle school

Ian Lewis, absolutely anxiety-free April 20, 2023

Throwback!  If there’s one thing people always say, it’s that April’s all about nostalgia. There’s nothing quite like reminiscing on the past. Whether it’s cherished family memories or some...

Illustration by Amelia Ebling.

The definitive “The Super Mario Bros. Movie” review

Samantha Fitts, down bad for animated women April 13, 2023

Warning: This review contains spoilers. I hate to admit it, but this movie did not have the right to be as good as it actually was. "The Super Mario Bros. Movie" is a kid’s film first and foremost,...

Illustration by Kai Bowen.

Exclusive: An interview with the Ankeny April Fool

Ian Lewis, owed money April 13, 2023

In an event that got moderate YikYak attention, the April Fool, for whom the day was named, sat on Whitman's own Ankeny Field on March 31. The April Fool gave out prizes, including loose grass and...

Walla Walla Vampire Hunting Committee raids local wineries

Lee Thomas, Not immune to vampiric seduction April 13, 2023

In shocking news this week, the citizens of Walla Walla were alerted by the city government about a vampire infestation throughout town. What was thought to be mere rumors was proven true when the local...

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