Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Your Unofficial Historically Informed Guide to Rushing

Meghan Kearney, non-PNM September 21, 2023

To the faculty members reading these words, I would like to remind you that this is the humor section and the following information should not be taken seriously. But to the male-identifying first...

5 signs it’s fall

Carmel Stephan, seasonal expert September 21, 2023

If you’re from the likes of Portland or Seattle, September is already full swing in the quintessential images of fall. Things don’t work quite like that here in Walla Walla. September in good ole W^2...

Illustration by Jonah Rosen-Bloom

How to recreate Burning Man 2023 in your dorm room

George Groebner, knee-deep in mud September 21, 2023

Every Whitman student knows the feeling: hardly have a few lectures gone by than the urge grips you to pack a week’s worth of supplies and hightail it to the middle of nowhere Nevada. You console...

Illustration by Helios Santoro

QUIZ: How well do you hide that you’re a STEM major?

Grace Canny, science building enjoyer September 21, 2023

  Have you ever woken up in a haze in the Science building student lounge, parts of your problem set tattooed on your face? Have you ever worn those silly little, uh, the special glasses that...

First Month Bucket List

Grace Canny, all knowing September 14, 2023

Hello to all you readers of The Wire! Another academic year at our four-year-degree-granting-institution-of-choice has started and the buzz of ~1500 young people fills our campus again. Whether you’re...

I Degraded Myself for Barbie

I Degraded Myself for Barbie

Meghan Kearney, autobiographer for one night only September 14, 2023

Feminists had been eagerly awaiting July 21, 2023, the day when Greta Gerwig would bestow the Barbie movie onto the world, giving us all the only tool necessary to put a complete end to misogyny. Yet...

Illustration by Kai Bowen

Whitman Mascot Bluey the Foothill starts first year on Campus

Carmel Stephan, Anthill September 14, 2023

Big news everybody: we have a celebrity amongst us. Bluey the Foothill, a literal walking and talking small mountain, is starting his first year at Whitman College. Son of Gary Erikson, founder of...

illustration by Jonah Rosen-Bloom

First-years bewildered by ringing noises after assuming clock tower was decorative

George Groebner, visibly shaken September 14, 2023

As the class of 2027 settles into their dorms and begins to adjust to college life, one mysterious occurrence is leaving them unsettled: a low, ominous ringing sound, reverberating through campus several...

Illustration by Holly VanVoorhis.

Tinseling craze linked to pubic lice epidemic

Rachel Husband, itching & scratching April 27, 2023

Three weeks ago, if you took a gander about the Whitman College campus, you’d find many students sporting little strands of shiny plastic in their hair. While an unknowing observer might find this an...

Illustration by Payton Davies.

Class of 2027: by the numbers

Grace Canny, class of 2016, oh what a year April 27, 2023

Whitman College wants to extend the warmest welcome to our newly arrived Class of 2027. These students have earned their admission to our fantastic college by being exceptional students and even more...

Whitman braces itself for Rejected Students Day

Ian Lewis, shockingly admitted April 27, 2023

After greeting the future Whittie class of 2027 at Admitted Students Day, Whitman now braces itself for an influx of failed applicants to reach campus on Rejected Students Day. Whitman’s most unusual...

Annual “Poor Person Cosplay Convention” to be held at Marcus Whitman hotel

Lee Thomas, ouch ooh ouchie owwwieee April 27, 2023

May has big things in store for Walla Walla. The opening week of the month is Spring Release Weekend for new wines, so the town will be filled with live music, good food and eager tourists. The following...

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