After various community polls and outreach projects, I’ve compiled a controversial but entirely accurate ranking of most of the “Looney Tunes” characters, from least to most sexy.
- Roadrunner
That is a bird. Shame on you for thinking he would be higher.
- Tweety Bird
Also a bird. However, he does have the capacity for speech, which puts him ahead of Roadrunner.
- Tasmanian Devil
I respect you if you find the Tasmanian Devil attractive, but… WHAT? WHAT? Is it animal magnetism? The inarticulate snarling and spinning? I’m not here to kinkshame, but you scare me.
- Sylvester the Cat
He’s more silly than sexy, but ‘Sylvester’ is an undeniably swoon-worthy name.
- Elmer Fudd
Elmer Fudd is human, so he’s physically compatible… but really? Elmer Fudd’s the best we can do?
- Yosemite Sam
He’s a rugged western man who smells like dust and Manifest Destiny. Yum!
- Pepé Le Pew
You might think he’d be higher because he speaks French, but I’m here to tell you that he stinks and won’t take no for an answer.
- Porky the Pig
Is he a nice guy? Undoubtedly! Is he sexy? It depends on who you ask. But have you seen his coat and bowtie? So fashion forward!
- Wile E. Coyote
He has a full-time job and hobbies, and he never gives up. The only downsides to dating him are considerable communication issues and frequent dynamite explosions.
- Marvin the Martian
He’s another hard worker! His one goal is to conquer and subjugate Earth… so he’s probably into some freaky stuff. He’s also a short king and can absolutely fit in your purse!
- Bugs Bunny
Bugs is everything a man should be: funny, relaxed and up for being a little naughty. You’re lying if you’ve never thought “What’s up, Doc” was a little hot.
- Lola Bunny
If your sexual awakening was Lola Bunny in “Space Jam,” you’re not alone! Let’s face it, she’s a total babe.
- Daffy Duck
I will not accept criticism at this time.
