Whitman Wire

Illustration by Paloma Link.

Too old to goof around, too young to be square: walking the tightrope of silliness

Conor Bartol, on “real thin ice, buddy” May 12, 2022

I see people in the street and they say to me, “Conor! It must be nice, living life as a devil-may-care humor writer for the illustrious publication The Whitman Wire! Surely your profession must...

What It’s Like to Transition at Whitman

Sammy Fitts, Humor Writer May 12, 2022

When I wake up each morning, I look at the mirror that sits directly across the room from my bed. I look past the bedhead and ask myself how I feel, looking at my own face. I’m not the prettiest in the...

Illustration by Madeleine Stolp.

Loss and mourning: Grieving as a college student

Marian Sandoval Lemus , Campus Life Reporter May 12, 2022

When we talk about grief, we often think of the well-known five stages of the experience: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance; and we often think of them as stages that follow a specific...

Whitman majors as Biological phyla

Rachel Husband, Can I spit on you? Sorry, that's my STEM elitism talking May 12, 2022

If you know me, then you know I’m an ES-Bio major recently diagnosed with mental illness, I abhor the discipline of sociology and I only believe in sticking to themes at the MET gala. Here are my rankings...

Illustration by Madeleine Stolp.

Inside Yik Yak micro-influencers: “How do I turn this Yakarma into cold hard cash?”

Grace Jackson, News Editor and Yik-Yak Micro-Influencer May 12, 2022

12,048. That is my current Yakarma. You start with 100, so that means the 11,948 are individual comments and upvotes on my posts. For Whitman, mine is pretty high, as far as I can tell. Posts at large...

A Reflection on the lost years: Jumping from first-year to upperclassman

Jaime Fields , Campus Life Editor May 12, 2022

When we went home in March of my first year at Whitman, we were convinced that we would be back by the fall, that we were only losing a few months. Then fall came and we were online, spring came and we...

Illustration by Madi Welch.

I’m asexual and no that does not mean I am a plant

Charlotte Elliott, Campus Life Editor May 12, 2022

I am invisible. Not in the physical sense of course, I am but a human after all. It is more the feeling of walking around campus knowing that everyone I make eye contact with is not actually seeing...

Illustration by Astrid Ketcham.

In between presidents: Kathy Murray v. Sarah Bolton

Rachel Husband, Yes, it's me again May 12, 2022

Here’s the truth: I am deeply saddened to see Kathy Murray leave Whitman College. She brought me fame, a weensy fortune and a wealth of joy in my time as a humor writer and editor for The Wire.  I’ve...

The Master’s Tools: Overcoming the awkward in-between of theory and practice

Lee Thomas , Humor Writer May 12, 2022

As I near my senior year and the unnerving inevitability of graduating from college, I reflect on what I've been learning, thinking and doing in preparation for my life post-Whitman. As the college’s...

Contributed Photo by Sylvia Adome.

Traveling and teaching abroad: Whitman seniors receive Fulbright, English Teaching grants and Watson Fellowship

Renny Acheson, Publisher May 12, 2022

As the class of 2022 prepares for life after graduation, three students were awarded opportunities to live and travel in countries outside of the U.S. for the next year.  Senior Lindsey Merritt won...

BPK’s Guide to Surviving Being a Third Wheel

Ben Kearney, Been Third Wheeling since I was Two Years Old May 12, 2022

Alright all you lonely hearts club members, the time has come to put you in the spotlight. No, it’s not a ticket onto Love Island, wouldn’t we all love that. But as someone that has been stuck between...

Illustration by Anna Stone.

On the Ethics of Stealing from Parties

Beth Kutina, Self-diagnosed with sticky fingers syndrome May 12, 2022

Ladies, we’ve all been there. A house party. The sweaty bodies bumping into you as you try to dance to the third Grateful Dead song of the night. Your stomach gurgles, the Cleveland Commons veggie...

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