Conor Bartol – Whitman Wire

Conor Bartol, Humor Writer

Conor (he/him) is a Physics/Astronomy major. He has been a humor writer on The Wire for two years. His main goal is to bring some levity and laughs to your newspaper reading experience.

All content by Conor Bartol

Psychoanalyzing my Spotify Wrapped

December 8, 2022

No-fail fun and funky fall crafts

November 17, 2022

Spoiler alert: there are no bears in the play “bare”

November 10, 2022

Horrifying reversal: A pumpkin is trying to carve me

October 27, 2022

How to celebrate Rocktober right

October 20, 2022

How to spot an impostor Wire writer

October 5, 2022

An interview with President Bolton: the complete unredacted version

September 29, 2022

King Charles’ reign contested by kid pulling sword from stone

September 22, 2022

Too old to goof around, too young to be square: walking the tightrope of silliness

May 12, 2022

No summer plans? Here’s some good last-minute options

May 5, 2022

Major ASWC election voter fraud ring uncovered

April 28, 2022

Whitman makes clothes optional during transition to nude university

April 21, 2022

Make Your Own Humor Article!

April 7, 2022

The forgotten history of Whitman’s space program

April 1, 2022

End of indoor mask mandate a massive blow to people who make silly faces under their masks

March 10, 2022

Love is(n’t) in the air: Tips for overcoming your post-Valentine’s Day disappointment

February 17, 2022

Whitman prepares for online “Metaverse” classes

February 10, 2022

Whitman holiday celebration goes wrong

December 9, 2021

Whitman alters COVID protocol

December 2, 2021

Local vigilantes wage war on bicycle-wheel thieves

November 11, 2021

A dream crushed: I jumped into this pile of leaves and I can’t escape

November 4, 2021

North Hall Haunted House cancelled after real phantom discovered

October 28, 2021

Tips and tricks for family weekend

October 21, 2021

V-Nord Improv’s return countered by heckler group

September 30, 2021

Horses demand their dewormer from anti-vaxxers

September 23, 2021

Sophomores go undercover as class of 2025

September 16, 2021

The mythic tale of the Whitman tree climber: A true history

May 16, 2021

Companies stake their claim on Whitman following Barnes and Noble bookstore purchase

May 6, 2021

Whitman hosts “America’s Got Talent”-esque competition to choose next president

April 29, 2021

Duckling Do’s and Don’ts

April 22, 2021

Georgia voter suppression bill reaching new lows

April 9, 2021

The Wire sold to Jeff Bezos

April 1, 2021

CDC PSA: Do not use COVID-19 vaccines as throwing darts

March 25, 2021

Whitman statues change places overnight

March 11, 2021

Student left bedridden after eating Smash Burgers for five straight weeks

March 4, 2021

Whitties start betting on which hall will be quarantined next

February 25, 2021

Amidst financial woes, Whitman criticized for spending on outfits for ducks

February 18, 2021

Things to be thankful for

November 25, 2020

Supervillains cancel 2020 plans: “What’s the point?”

November 19, 2020

Whitman postpones in-person plans after bed bug infestation

November 12, 2020

Children develop candy E-trading for Halloween 2020

November 5, 2020

What is NASA hiding on the moon?

October 29, 2020

An interview with the fly that landed on Mike Pence’s head

October 22, 2020

Students vanish in Zoom breakout rooms

October 15, 2020

Five spook-tacular trick-or-treating alternatives for 2020

October 8, 2020

Scientists have mixed feelings over discovery of single-use plastics on Venus

October 1, 2020

The sweet onion to end all sweet onions has been discovered

September 24, 2020

Disney announces “Star Wars: Babies”

September 17, 2020

Microsoft Replaces Internet Explorer with Internet Conqueror

September 10, 2020

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