Disney announces “Star Wars: Babies”

Conor Bartol, Voyager to Lands Unknown

Following breakout “The Mandalorian” star and subsequent meme The Child, colloquially known as Baby Yoda, Disney has announced a new show: “Star Wars: Babies.” The show will be a more kid-friendly look at “Star Wars” that will “follow the adventures of Baby Yoda and his adorable friends as they travel the galaxy making mischief and memories.”

When asked about the show, Executive Producer Jon Favreau said, “The Child was lightning in a bottle. He captured the hearts of audiences immediately. So I thought, what do we need? More bottled lightning!”

Disney Executive Chairman Bob Iger said he “voiced concerns” over the show, fearing it would “dilute the brand and erode customer confidence.” However, Iger added that he “fell in love” with it. “It harkens back to ‘Muppet Babies,’ one of our proudest achievements. It’s a spiritual successor of sorts. If an asteroid struck Burbank tomorrow, I would want both shows to be all that survived of the Walt Disney Company. They are truly our finest achievements.”

However, all is not well in the company. Pedro Pascal, who plays the titular Mandalorian, claimed that the show’s budget was being slashed to fund “Babies.” “They took our Baby Yoda puppet for the new show,” he said. “I am now acting across from a tennis ball with googly eyes and ice cream cones for ears. I don’t care what they say, you can’t fix that in post.”

Illustration by Allyson Kim.

Lucasfilm president, Kathleen Kennedy, expressed concern, saying, “I think quarantine is hitting Jon pretty hard. I had a video call with him and his wall was covered with news clippings and red string. All he wanted to talk about was a Baby Darth Vader trying to steal cookies from a jar. I’m a bit worried.” Rumor within Lucasfilm is that Favreau’s apparent “insanity” will be blamed if the show flops.

Despite these concerns, Executive Producer Dave Filoni remained optimistic. “I know people are nervous that we’re replacing ‘The Mandalorian’ with a kids show, but they shouldn’t worry. They’ll fall in love with the new characters, like Baby Palpatine, Baby Chewie, and, of course, Baby Jar Jar.”