George Groebner, spokesman for the untimely
• April 18, 2024
If buildings could make wishes, the Memorial Building would probably wish that ducks could read analog clock faces. Beyond that, however, it’s difficult to think of anything this glorious edifice...
Meghan Kearney, short enough to fit in a wallet
• April 18, 2024
Whitman’s campus community excels at most woke subjects, with their efforts ranging from showcasing diversity on the covers of their brochures to limiting open discussions in classrooms to prevent politically...
Grace Canny, in of doors (indoors if you will)
• April 18, 2024
Canadian company Modern Campus (previously known as Presence) has come under increasing scrutiny for the role it plays in collecting student information as a foreign company. However, the real truth...
In a groundbreaking announcement that has students and Circle K parking lot dwellers alike buzzing with excitement, Whitman College has revealed its innovative plan to combat soaring tuition costs: converting...
Hellooooo, sports fans! Are you ready for the latest innovation in throwing objects long distances, maintaining balance on slick surfaces and other feats of athletic prowess? Get ready for the Eraser...
Meghan Kearney, currently following the paper-trail
• April 11, 2024
You may have noticed the presence of 20 million copies of The Wire distributed around campus. However, what may have escaped your notice is the transition to fresh editions each week, leaving readers...
Conor Bartol, something of an undergraduate researcher myself
• April 11, 2024
Ah, the Undergraduate Conference: a momentous day of rigorous research, academic inquiry, startling results, salient questions and a free lunch. What could be better? The only problem with the Conference...
Arham Khan, Intro To Climbing graduate
• April 11, 2024
In yet another scandalous revelation surrounding Greek Life, an anonymous source has disclosed that a fraternity's hazing practices have taken a sinister turn. The new pledges, eager to prove their...
Meghan Kearney, ASWC Chair of Communications
• April 4, 2024
ASWC has dedicated years to ensuring that clubs stay free of corruption, from crafting bylaws to hosting Senate meetings where senators vote on whether clubs fit the requirements and ethical expectations...
Grace Canny, Fell for the six flags prank (only a little bit ashamed)
• April 4, 2024
Probably the only brilliant thing Jordan Peterson has ever said was that there are cathedrals everywhere for those with the eyes to see. This beautiful turn of phrase has been lovingly repeated to...
Conor Bartol, once a former admitted student myself
• April 4, 2024
Admitted Students Weekend is coming up, which means gaggles of teenagers running around, gawking at people and asking silly questions like “what’s your major” and “why is that horse made of sticks?”...
George Groebner, young and foolish then, old and foolish now
• April 4, 2024
April Fool. An icon of practical jokery, an inspiration to countless pranksters of today, regarded by the world as one of the finest to ever wear the squirting flower lapel. Who could forget Madame...
