George Groebner – Whitman Wire

George Groebner, Humor Writer

George Groebner (he/him) is a first-year planning to double major in environmental studies and music. His writing process consists of making himself laugh and hoping others share his sense of humor. All allegations that he is the Whitman Sign Switcher are unfounded and preposterous.

All content by George Groebner

YikYak attacked by pack of yaks

George Groebner, yak of all trades
April 25, 2024

Architectural improvement ideas for the Mem clock tower

George Groebner, spokesman for the untimely
April 18, 2024

Predictions and previews for the Eraser Olympics

George Groebner, sponsored by Ticonderoga
April 11, 2024

Tribute to an unsung hero: the legacy of March Fool

George Groebner, young and foolish then, old and foolish now
April 4, 2024

Sustainability win: all future editions of The Wire to be printed on Cleve napkins

George Groebner, fully biodegradable
March 7, 2024

Banana peels rain down on campus

George Groebner, potassium? I hardly know ‘em
February 29, 2024

Crazy straw glasses and other spring fashion predictions

George Groebner, borrowing and abusing my uncle’s credibility
February 22, 2024

Diverting the Flow: an argument for the construction of a Whitman moat

George Groebner, wannabe island-dweller
February 15, 2024

Creative basket-free ways to transport your laundry

George Groebner, dry clean only
February 8, 2024

Time-traveling study-abroad students from Class of 2067 arrive

George Groebner, I’m you from the future
February 1, 2024

Interview with the bridge trolls of College Creek

George Groebner, unprofessional cryptozoologist
December 7, 2023

Whitman Sign Switcher brought into custody

George Groebner, mild-mannered alter ego
November 16, 2023

Freeze rays cause controversy, shivering

George Groebner, fastest draw in the southeast central Pacific Northwest
November 9, 2023

Local sourcing gone too far? Campus ducks added to Cleve menu

George Groebner, incapable of pronouncing “foie gras”
November 2, 2023

Zombified taxidermy specimens run amok

George Groebner, harbinger of the taxidermy apocalypse
October 26, 2023

Department of Wordplay announces depletion of pun supply

George Groebner, officially witty
October 19, 2023

Two weeks in: recovery efforts following Alumni Weekend

George Groebner, future alumnus
October 5, 2023

Whitman’s Genetic Modification Lab resequences campus culture

George Groebner, 100% organically grown
September 28, 2023

How to recreate Burning Man 2023 in your dorm room

George Groebner, knee-deep in mud
September 21, 2023

First-years bewildered by ringing noises after assuming clock tower was decorative

George Groebner, visibly shaken
September 14, 2023

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