Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Vol. CLIV, Issue 10
Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Comparing the Contents of Women’s Wallets to Men’s

Whitman’s campus community excels at most woke subjects, with their efforts ranging from showcasing diversity on the covers of their brochures to limiting open discussions in classrooms to prevent politically incorrect statements. However, the campus has been struggling to navigate the additional politically correct topic of gender neutrality, particularly regarding accessories.

Take, for instance, a woman’s purse, an extension of her feminine identity and a symbol of the materialistic and emotional baggage she carries. In this current era of woke culture, female-identifying students have made an effort to hide evidence of femininity by replacing purses with something more associated with masculinity: a wallet.

In contrast to the many emotional complexities women have, there are men, whose emotional capacities don’t exceed the size of their wallets. Therefore, a wallet is the perfect symbol of gender neutrality, as it mirrors the emotional indifference that this school needs to be woke.

In an average man’s wallet, you will find limited practical items: cash and cards (whether debit or credit) with an occasional condom on stand by. Then you have a woman’s wallet, to which there is no simple comparison as the majority of them are nearly bursting at the seams with an incomparable array of items. 

After looking at one woman’s wallet, I found that it contained the usual male items like cash and cards, minus the condom, and in addition, there was concealer, lip gloss, a gift card to a local bookstore, her 16-year-old brother’s business card, euro coins and a tiny rubber chameleon. In another wallet, there were cash and cards, along with starbursts, a pack of gum, chapstick, Zofran and Xanax. 

This surplus of items wouldn’t be a problem if purses were permitted by our politically correct society. Now, as women increasingly rely solely on wallets, when the items overflow, there is nothing to help catch the excess items. Not even a pocket can contain anything, given the lack of pockets in women’s clothing. 

Considering the items that represent the complexities and maturity, or lack thereof, between genders, perhaps it is time the school gives up its woke efforts and takes a step in the segregated direction the fashion industry has reached. 

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