Love is(n’t) in the air: Tips for overcoming your post-Valentine’s Day disappointment

Conor Bartol, Call 1-800-LUV-SICK: good relationship advice in 5 minutes or your money back!

For many, Valentine’s day can also be a source of great disappointment, a time of unreciprocated feelings, bad breakups and love poems landing with all the poignancy and emotional impact of a dog turd on a linoleum floor.

Are you down in the dumps yourself? Well, never fear! Here are some easy ways to put some pep back in your step.

  • Go for a walk. Seriously, stretch your legs, get some fresh air, feel warm sunlight on your skin. Nothing will brighten your mood like just strolling about. Try some funny walks while you’re at it, or sing a silly song. And if you’re still bummed out afterwards? Keep walking.
  • Start a blog or podcast. If you lack the affection of one person, relieve your heartache with the attention of tens of internet strangers! Renew your confidence by spreading your unsolicited opinions on the topic of your choice! Cishet white dudes take note, this one’s popular in our demographic, so you’ll have competition.
  • Let your heart grow bitter and cold. I’m kidding, don’t do that. But if you do, know that you’ll be part of a rich legacy of people whose doomed romance has led to a life of villainy. You too could join the ranks of famous evildoers such as… well none come to mind, but there are probably loads.
  • I don’t know… read a book? Celebrate platonic love for your friends by finally reading that book they’ve been bugging you about. Personally, I need to get around to reading Earthsea…
  • Sea Monkeys. Found this scrawled on a Post-It. Don’t remember how it helps with overcoming heartbreak.
  • Ok I’m gonna cut straight to the chase here. I don’t really know what the hell I’m talking about, they just plopped me in front of a keyboard and told me to hit 350 words. I mean, I spent Valentine’s Day watching The Simpsons and eating kettle corn, I am not qualified to give romantic advice. So just take care of yourselves, get some rest, maybe eat some soup and don’t listen to everything yahoos like me tell you. You’ll be fine.