Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire
Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire
Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire
Rachel Husband

Rachel Husband, Publisher

Rachel Husband (she/her) has crawled out of the woods to return to the Humor section for a third year. She knows you missed her, but hush darlings, she's back. No need to cry anymore. Only laughing now.

All content by Rachel Husband
Best practices for capitalizing off your student body

Best practices for capitalizing off your student body

Rachel Husband, Humor Writer
May 4, 2023
Illustration by Holly VanVoorhis.

Tinseling craze linked to pubic lice epidemic

Rachel Husband, itching & scratching
April 27, 2023

Confused Trump pleads the Fifth at Gwyneth Paltrow ski trial

Rachel Husband, inflicting lasting cyber-harm
April 13, 2023

Three eco-friendly alternatives to turf athletic fields

Rachel Husband, Environmental Studies-Astrology Major
April 6, 2023
Illustration by Holly VanVoorhis.

An interview with Ben Shapiro’s cosmetic surgeon

Rachel Husband, in Canada for a boob job
March 9, 2023

Jimmy Carter locked in duel with Ronald Reagan’s evil spirit

Rachel Husband, trapped in a bathroom stall
March 2, 2023
Illustration by Hayden Garner.

Hear ye, hear ye: Fairy tales, gossip and foibles from Whitman

Rachel Husband, loose-lipped above and below
February 16, 2023

Walla Walla road construction linked to Freemasons

Rachel Husband, currently listening to Sesame Street: Sesame Disco
February 9, 2023
Illustration by Amelia Ebling.

The six silliest Fox News headlines from 2022

Rachel Husband, dusty old bag
February 2, 2023

Update from Semester in the West: “Mom, come pick me up”

Rachel Husband, Trapped in a Gray 2021 Ford Explorer
October 5, 2022

Whitman majors as Biological phyla

Rachel Husband, Can I spit on you? Sorry, that's my STEM elitism talking
May 12, 2022
Illustration by Astrid Ketcham.

In between presidents: Kathy Murray v. Sarah Bolton

Rachel Husband, Yes, it's me again
May 12, 2022

Cold weather attributed to God, not climate change

Rachel Husband, teehee girl
April 21, 2022

Why we are gay: 6 Moments in cinema that made us go hmmm

Rachel Husband and Allison Cohen
March 3, 2022

Pete Davidson provides conclusive evidence that funny people are most fuckable

Rachel Husband, Writing against the will of God
December 2, 2021
Illustration by Kiara Paninos.

Reclaiming the narrative: Peeing outdoors as a woman

Rachel Husband, Just go if you have to
May 16, 2021

Lactose intolerant first year spends 50% of semester on toilet

Rachel Husband, This is NOT Autobiographical
May 6, 2021
Illustration by Lily Buller.

Remembering Prince Philip

Rachel Husband, A big fan of the Queen
April 29, 2021
Illustration by Kiara Paninos.

How to rename a building on campus after yourself 

Rachel Husband , Rachel's Play Place
April 22, 2021
Illustration by Hannah Paul.

Whitman Virginity Club gains new members

Rachel Husband, @stoops
April 15, 2021
Illustration by Nicholas Rogers.

Kathy Murray opens up about Cancun “business trip”: The sequel

Rachel Husband, Alasdair and Ella Give Me More Money
April 1, 2021

Inside the Ticketmaster Hack: Why your Ed Sheeran tickets are immoral

Rachel Husband, ex-Sheerio, loyal Directioner
March 25, 2021
Illustration by Eli Rodriguez.

ASWC offers IUD insertions in the park

Rachel Husband, Hiding from the IRS
March 18, 2021
Illustration by Eli Rodriguez.

Kathy Murray caught in Cancun with Ted Cruz

Rachel Husband, Team Buffalo Chicken (I’m sorry)
March 11, 2021

Four things Whitman College didn’t tell me on move-in day

Rachel Husband, Too Tired to Title Myself
February 25, 2021

Athletes breaking COVID restrictions forced to work on Whitman Athletics Wine

Rachel Husband, Lower Back Issue
February 15, 2021
Illustration by Hayden Cooper.

White House in turmoil over Robert Biden II and Barron Trump’s relationship

Rachel Husband, Hungry for some snackies
November 25, 2020

First years abduct Kathy Murray, force in-person learning

Rachel Husband, My parents now make fun of me for labeling myself as ‘Lester Holt’s Bitch’
November 12, 2020

Three things to do after Kanye West wins the 2020 presidential election

Rachel Husband, Lester Holt’s bitch
November 5, 2020
Illustration by Elie Flanagan.

Bernie’s bird consumes Pence’s fly, sparks controversy among dems

Rachel Husband, “Why’s she writing about birds so much?”
October 29, 2020
Illustration by Allyson Kim.

First years report record E. coli numbers from Welcome Onions

Rachel Husband, Diseased
October 22, 2020
Illustration by Lily Buller.

Why Bear Grylls and his show “World’s Toughest Race: Eco-Challenge Fiji” is not the vibe

Rachel Husband, Edible Arrangement
October 8, 2020

ASWC experiences menstrual cup mix-up

Rachel Husband, Davinki?
October 1, 2020
Illustration by Kiara Paninos.

Whitman Wire faces lawsuit over bird homicide

Rachel Husband, Naked & Afraid
September 24, 2020

Biden team allegedly spends campaign funds at local yard sale

Rachel Husband, Unregistered Voter
September 17, 2020

Study Finds Taco Bell Crunchwrap Supreme Can Fuel A Small Fan for Seven Days

Rachel Husband, Enchilada Enthusiast
September 10, 2020
Load More Stories

Whitman Wire

Whitman news since 1896
© 2023 • FLEX Pro WordPress Theme by SNO • Log in

Comments (0)

All Whitman Wire Picks Reader Picks Sort: Newest