As the sun begins to set on my freshman year at Whitman College, I find myself reflecting on the past two semesters with mixed emotion. I’ve met some amazing people who I hope to carry with me through the rest of my life, and… other people too. It’s almost poetic that the school year is nine months because I feel like a brand new infant crowning. I’m no longer just the fertilized egg that left high school, but a full human being of knowledge that I considered aborting many, many times.

But, alas, here I stand, looking to share my hard earned wisdom with the world in hopes of a better future. I’m honestly a saint. With that, here are some things I learned this year so you don’t have to.

Due dates are a suggestion

When you see an assignment is due on Canvas, it can be normal to freak the f*ck out about it. But honestly, the professor is probably too busy watching their benefits dwindle to notice if you turn something in a day late. It’s also important to remember that anything’s better than a zero, so when you’re really swamped, it’s ok to turn in some crude fanfiction!

If you go rock climbing, WEAR. A. HARNESS.

I have a metal plate in my ankle and about $80k in hospital bills to back me up on this one.

Always believe YikYak

People will lie to your face to benefit themselves in some way. But on YikYak it’s completely anonymous, meaning people can be completely truthful! Anonymity brings out the best in our community!

And finally, put yourself out there!

My first article was called “So Many Baddies, So Little Confidence” and was about not having a chance with the people on campus. Well, now I’ve been with my wonderful partner for nearly six months. That would never have been possible if I didn’t put myself out there. Now, even if you seriously have no redeeming qualities, don’t let that deter you! Even if there aren’t any hot singles in your area, a little delusion never hurt anybody.