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Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Vol. CLV, Issue 4
Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

What's getting left out: my fantastic ideas

What’s getting left out: my fantastic ideas

Grace Canny, Humor Writer May 4, 2023

I have had one or two hits in my storied career as a Wire Humor Writer, but what if I told you that everything you’ve seen is just a fraction of what could have been? Each issue, we Humor Writers...

April Fools’ Day reported to have “hit different” this year

AQ, Negative Debby April 5, 2020

This year you could have literally said or done anything that would later be revealed as an “April Fools” and I would not care. There is nothing that would have fazed me. Since Whitman’s announcement...

In the News this Week

Anthony Reale, MySpace Guru April 6, 2017

Area man disappointed to find no whittling classes at Whitman College Feminism discovered to be cure for most serious diseases Campus celebrates as DVD screensaver hits exact corner of television screen Marrra...

Headlines

Trevor Lewis, Humor Writer December 8, 2016

Your Mom’s Gonna Love That New Ying-Yang Face Tattoo   “Why are Finals?” and Other Questions Asked in the Quiet Room at 4:00a.m.   Local First-Year Can’t Wait to Continue...

This week in politics

Jeffrey Gustaveson, Humor Writer December 1, 2016

--Fidel Castro figures Trump Presidency as good a time as any to peace out --Reince Priebus revokes President-elect Trump’s Twitter access until he finishes last bite of steak --Nation’s liberals...

In The News

Ben Freedman, Humor Editor November 10, 2016

MONDAY Study: BBMB Majors choose course of study solely for intellectual self-aggrandizement TUESDAY Thanksgiving dinner with Wisconsin extended family poses foreseeable conflict WEDNESDAY Beginning...

In The News

April 1, 2016

THIS JUST IN: Parents just really think you should major in BBMB “Honey, your cousin Tim majored in Biology at the U, and he’s in med school now! And remember, there’ll always be sick people in...

This Week In Politics

Jeffrey Gustaveson, staff writer February 18, 2016

--Nation surprised when reminded that Supreme Court is still a thing --Ted Cruz announces plans to nominate himself to Supreme Court if elected --Anonymous source: Jeb Bush apparently still running...

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