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Whitman Wire

Asteroid Heads Towards Earth, No One Cares

Anthony Reale, Professional Pessimist

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Last Tuesday, NASA discovered an asteroid the size of Canada headed straight for the United States.

No panic was caused, however, as no one gives a shit about the Earth anymore.

“It’s pretty much time the Earth gets what’s coming to it, after all the shit we’ve caused in the Solar System,” said NASA spokesperson Star Starsson.

The Wire wishes everyone luck in the afterlife.

Disclaimer: This is satire

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Whitman news since 1896
Asteroid Heads Towards Earth, No One Cares