Horoscope (As Coffee Drinks)

Callie Brown and Anthony Reale

Aries (London Fog with a shot of whiskey): Let’s admit it, you’re a bit mysterious–unexpected even. You like the fact that people don’t quite know how to peg you down. You’re the wild card, but you always know how to keep things interesting.

Taurus (Strong Black Coffee): If we’ve said it once, we’ve said it a million times: you’re stubborn. You like to start your mornings with something as strong-willed as you are–and nothing says, “let’s get to the point,” quite like a cup of straight black coffee.

Gemini (Hot Chocolate): You’re often misrepresented as being somewhat unreliable, but really you just know what you like and what you want. You’re adaptable and continue to be a favorite throughout the years. So keep doing what you’re doing, and don’t apologize for it!

Cancer (Dirty Chai): Reign it in, you moody son of a gun! You can never quite make up your mind, but your friends love your warm nature (even if you need a little extra pick me up every once in awhile).

Leo (Pumpkin Spice Latte): Okay, so you may be the most basic drink, but you are objectively super awesome too (even if you know it). You may get a bad rep sometimes, but people still keep coming back for more!

Virgo (Americano): You’re a realist. You know what it’s going to take to get the job done. You don’t need to sugarcoat anything; you have the follow-through that people are looking for.

Libra (Doppio):  You’re two shots of espresso.  Straight up, concise and to the point, you are not messing around.  No waffling here, Libra gets straight to the point.

Scorpio (Coffee Grounds): Chewing coffee grounds.  So edgy, so passionate.  Coffee as a liquid doesn’t do it for you, so the solid form suffices.

Sagittarius (Gingerbread Latte): Alright, you holiday gremlin.  You like the finer things in life, the things you have to wait for.  Although some people might find your taste questionable, you know what you like.

Capricorn (Latte): Hey champ.  You’re doing great.  Some people might see you as boring, but you get the job done, right?  No shame in being the slightly boring friend!

Aquarius (Unicorn Frappuccino): You are out there, wild, mystical and slightly annoying.  People either love you or hate you.  You’re just doing your own thing either way!

Pisces (Caramel Apple Spice): You emotional little reminiscing baby, you!  I can’t believe you loved your childhood so much!  Remember not to live entirely in your memories, otherwise the world might pass you by.