Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Vol. CLIV, Issue 4
Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

All content by Clara Wheeler

Non-Murderers Plan for the Purge

Clara Wheeler, Celebrity Look-alike
April 19, 2018

Steaming Manhole Cover a Portal to Opportunities

Clara Wheeler, Citizen of the Ebon Grounds
March 8, 2018

What is Jill Stein Doing Now?

Clara Wheeler, The Chosen One
January 28, 2018

Finals Study Breaks Sure to be Big Hit

Clara Wheeler, Font of Useless Information
December 7, 2017
Illustration by Catalina Burch

New Classes for Millenials

Clara Wheeler, Dear god please somebody swipe me into brunch
November 9, 2017
Illustration by Catalina Burch

New Car Service Luber Sweeps Nation

Clara Wheeler, Scabby Scrotum
October 19, 2017
Illustration by Claire Revere

Health Squared Plan

Clara Wheeler, Dumpster Scuba Diver
October 4, 2017
Illustration by Lydia Petroske

NASA Ends Pizza Spat with Hawaii

Clara Wheeler, Astronaughty
September 18, 2017

Pit Resident Builds Dam

Clara Wheeler, Ninja Chef
September 11, 2017

CRISIS: Local Man Can’t Find Keys

Clara Wheeler, Tortilla Engineer
April 20, 2017

Paul Ryan’s search for love

Clara Wheeler, Pirate Administrative Professional
April 2, 2017

ASWC: No More Mr. Nice Senate

Clara Wheeler, Digital Optimizer
February 23, 2017

NASA Discovers New Star

Clara Wheeler, Hollywood Astrologist
February 16, 2017

Article Not Labeled

Clara Wheeler, staff writer
October 20, 2016
Illustration by Taylor Penner-Ash

New Disinterest House to Open

Clara Wheeler, staff writer
October 9, 2016

How to Get Rid Of Your Prospie

Clara Wheeler, staff writer
April 14, 2016

Horoscope Time!

Clara Wheeler, staff writer
April 1, 2016

Whitman Bubble Turns Physical

Clara Wheeler, staff writer
February 11, 2016
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