Clara Wheeler – Whitman Wire

All content by Clara Wheeler

Best of 2017-2018: Procrastination Sensations!

May 3, 2018

Non-Murderers Plan for the Purge

April 19, 2018

Tree Near Jewett Looking Forward to Smelling like Shit Again

April 5, 2018

New Hero Strikes Fear into the Heart of Productivity

March 29, 2018

Steaming Manhole Cover a Portal to Opportunities

March 8, 2018

Urban Dictionary Phased Out By Parent Company, To Be Replaced By Rural Thesaurus

February 22, 2018

What is Jill Stein Doing Now?

January 28, 2018

New Restaurant Allows for a Break from Suffocating Privilege

January 25, 2018

Finals Study Breaks Sure to be Big Hit

December 7, 2017

New Classes for Millenials

November 9, 2017

Released Files about JFK Reveal Truths that Surprise Nobody

October 22, 2017

New Car Service Luber Sweeps Nation

October 19, 2017

Health Squared Plan

October 4, 2017

NASA Ends Pizza Spat with Hawaii

September 18, 2017

Pit Resident Builds Dam

September 11, 2017

Hard-Boiled Scramble Divisions Fry Campus Tensions

August 25, 2017

Divest Whitman has Sacrificed One of its Own

May 4, 2017

Behind the Scenes at the Liberal Boot Camp

May 4, 2017

CRISIS: Local Man Can’t Find Keys

April 20, 2017

US blocks UN’s no Nukes Vote by Bringing Nuke Along

April 13, 2017

Paul Ryan’s search for love

April 2, 2017

Bon App Cultivates New Flavor Palate

March 30, 2017

Cops Call Crook’s Creators

March 9, 2017

ASWC: No More Mr. Nice Senate

February 23, 2017

NASA Discovers New Star

February 16, 2017

Delta Gamma Nuclear Program Reaches New Heights

February 9, 2017

United States Eagerly Awaits Slaughter of Planned Parenthood

January 28, 2017

FREXIT: Community Shocked As French House Votes To Secede From IHC

January 26, 2017

Student in Quandary after Door is Held for Her

December 8, 2016

Whitman Parents Marvel at Matured Offspring

December 1, 2016

What to do When You’ve Forgotten Someone’s Name

November 10, 2016

Divestment movement expands fight against all forms of fossils

November 3, 2016

Bon App to Crack Down on Food Theft

October 27, 2016

Article Not Labeled

October 20, 2016

New Disinterest House to Open

October 9, 2016

Whitman Health Center to Hire New Staff

September 29, 2016

Whitman Overhauls Image with New Mascot Ideas

September 15, 2016

Retaliation Against Systematic Oppression of White Males

May 5, 2016

Sheehan Gallery Presents New Pretentious Modern Art

April 21, 2016

How to Get Rid Of Your Prospie

April 14, 2016

Horoscope Time!

April 1, 2016

Historic Rap Musical Hits Broadway

March 10, 2016

Ankeny Excavation Reveals Lives of Nineteenth Century Students

February 25, 2016

Whitman Bubble Turns Physical

February 11, 2016

Baby it’s cold outside (and we’re all going to die)

December 10, 2015

Scientists discover new purposes for world monuments

November 19, 2015

Res Life to Offer Pigeon Cages For Additional Student Housing

November 5, 2015

Varsity Nordic must change name or start skiing

October 19, 2015

Scientists urge public to crank up A/C in effort to cool planet

October 1, 2015

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