Finals Study Breaks Sure to be Big Hit

Clara Wheeler, Font of Useless Information

With finals just around the corner, a lot of residence halls are just now announcing study breaks that will provide enough entertainment to the hordes of students that attend ResLife events.

Jewett will be hosting an event in the wee hours of the morning where students can come and shout “Wake up TKE!” across Isaacs. “A lot of my little chickadees are excited for this one,” Jewett mama bird Wren Tunio said. “This’ll provide a chance to get reven- I mean, to get outside.” So much time is spent inside during finals week that this study break is sure to be a hit, as it will take place in the scenic Jewett parking lot.

Another study break, hosted by Anderson, will be a group act of community service. Students can take a break from studying and help finish that new building that has been under construction for roughly a million years. “You can’t rush art,” sniffed Bob Th’builder, a construction worker. “But can we do it? Heck yeah we can.” Students at this study break will have the chance to add in features to the growing building that they would like to see in a dining and residence hall. “I’m going to add a secret passage way to one of the dorm rooms that can only be opened by finishing a move in a game of chess!” Said one student. Other possibilities that students are excited about are a series of secret labyrinthine underground tunnels, “like the ones in Prentiss, but they actually go someplace interesting,” or a helicopter pad so that students without cars can finally bring their vehicles to school.

From egging Memorial with ostrich eggs to the bonding experience of robbing a bank as a section, these study breaks are sure to be a hit all across the board.