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Lee Thomas

Lee Thomas, Humor Writer

Lee is a humor writer majoring in permanent debt and minoring in existential crisis. They have written for The Wire since spring of 2021, and truly do not care if you don’t laugh at their articles, because they’re being paid anyway.

All content by Lee Thomas

The Master’s Tools: Overcoming the awkward in-between of theory and practice

May 12, 2022
Illustration by Astrid Ketcham.

Whitman College reconsiders new Culinary major as kitchen fires rampage across campus

May 5, 2022
Illustration by Madi Welch.

Plant mom arrested for triple plantslaughter

April 28, 2022
Illustration by Madeleine Stolp.

Auntie Lee’s last minute thesis tools

April 14, 2022

Guide for titling your unnamed off-campus house

April 7, 2022
Illustration by Madeleine Stolp.

OP-ED: I’m just trying to piss: The gendering of nongendered experiences

April 7, 2022
Illustration by Paloma Link.

Senior Psychology major kidnaps underclassmen for thesis study

April 1, 2022
Illustration by Madeleine Stolp.

Auntie Lee’s tips for pissing with a skirt on

March 3, 2022
Illustration by Kimberly Auran.

Outdoor Program under fire after insider trading exposé

February 24, 2022

3 dead, 16 injured at latest biology department plant giveaway

February 17, 2022
Illustration by Madi Welch.

Auntie Lee’s tricks for accessible transportation in Walla Walla

February 10, 2022
Illustration by Shasta Soles.

Whitman holiday celebration goes wrong

December 9, 2021
Illustration by Paloma Link.

A case against animals as gifts

December 2, 2021

Short story competition canceled after submissions box flooded with sexual professor fantasies

November 18, 2021
Illustration by Madi Welch.

Incredible evidence proves local guy liked Korean media before it was cool

November 11, 2021

Auntie Lee’s cures for Frat Flu

October 28, 2021
Illustration by Anna Stone.

Marcus Whitman statue creates TikTok account, is immediately banned

October 21, 2021
Students share concepts for improving Cleveland Commons

Students share concepts for improving Cleveland Commons

October 7, 2021

Auntie Lee’s Advice: for the embarrassed student

September 23, 2021
Fundraiser established to send Jeff Bezos to space and keep him there

Fundraiser established to send Jeff Bezos to space and keep him there

September 16, 2021

So you’ve finished your first real semester at Whitman — have you checked all the boxes?

May 16, 2021
Illustration by Eli Rodriguez.

Students set themselves on fire in front of Memorial to protest spring break days

May 6, 2021

How to dress up for Hot Girl Summer while still attending classes

April 29, 2021
Illustration by Nick Rogers.

As flex accounts run low, meal plan black market activity runs high

April 15, 2021

Op-Ed: Three ways Whitman should encourage student gainz

April 9, 2021

Whitman sustainability team employs goats for campus maintenance

April 1, 2021

Advice for the closeted fan of ASMR

March 25, 2021
Illustration by Nicholas Rogers.

Fact vs. fiction: Clearing common misconceptions about Dad Dictums

March 18, 2021

Student still getting away with pretending not to know how Canvas works

March 4, 2021
Illustration by Nick Rogers.

Study suggests masks cause gingivitis — proving too many of you fools are nasty

February 25, 2021
Illustration by Kiara Paninos.

Possible COVID exposure more enticing than continued cohabitation with parents

February 18, 2021
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Whitman news since 1896
Lee Thomas