Plant mom arrested for triple plantslaughter

Lee Thomas, go drink some water

Illustration by Madi Welch.

New details are emerging surrounding the case of the local woman who has been charged with killing her three children. The bodies of six-year-old succulent, three-year-olds snake plant and 9-month-old pothos plant were found in the dumpster behind the woman’s apartment complex. She had adopted all three just two months ago at one of those bougie, minimalist, indie plant stores you can find in any city’s gentrified district for a reportedly exorbitant price.

Authorities speculate that she could have successfully evaded suspicion if a neighbor hadn’t witnessed her dumping the plants’ remains in the dumpster that morning, before reporting the incident to the police, who uncovered the corpses shortly after.

Friends and family members say the arrest sheds new light on the suspect’s past behavior.

“She would buy plants and show them off on Instagram or to whoever stopped by her apartment, then a few weeks later they would be gone,” a longtime friend shared with The Wire. “She would say that she gave them away as gifts, but now I don’t know. What if they were other victims, left unreported? How long have we let her get away with this? The guilt is consuming me.”

Others defended her, calling her “a good mother, with a kind, green thumb.”

The trial was intended to begin last Monday, but has been pushed to next week due to multiple jurors having conflicting interests. Two jurors were fellow plant parents who planned from the get-go to try for the hardest guilty sentencing: being registered as a plant offender. Another was the suspect’s cousin wearing a fake mustache pretending to be some random guy. It is unclear if his motives were to support or repudiate the suspect.

Neither the defendant nor her lawyers have yet released a statement, but insiders have leaked a plan to plead guilty to involuntary plantslaughter by way of negligence in the hopes of a lighter sentence.