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Whitman Wire
Sunday, April 6, 2025
Vol. CLVI, Issue 5
April 5
BREAKING: Red Paint and Chalk Cover Reid During "Spring Into Whitman"
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Democracy Watch
NEWS
INVESTIGATIVE DESK
BREAKING
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OPINION
HUMOR
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NEWSLETTER
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Carmel Stephan, Humor Writer
electrical engineering major (she/her)
All content by Carmel Stephan
Lust, Actually: A 20 year late review
Carmel Stephan
, film buff
December 7, 2023
Walla Walla Enneagram
Carmel Stephan
, Psychological analyst
November 16, 2023
You heard of teenage girls in their 20s, how about preteen boys in their 50s?
Carmel Stephan
, I’m talking about your dad
November 9, 2023
3 ways to show your crush you like them without any emotional vulnerability
Carmel Stephan
, a Romantic at heart
October 26, 2023
The Tale of Shityphus
Carmel Stephan
, heard this one in safeway self checkout line
October 19, 2023
Whitman Haunt Society Inducts new member at Annual Meeting
Carmel Stephan
, Sad clown
October 5, 2023
3 students talk about Cleve
Carmel Stephan
, guess which one is the self insert
September 28, 2023
5 signs it’s fall
Carmel Stephan
, seasonal expert
September 21, 2023
Whitman Mascot Bluey the Foothill starts first year on Campus
Carmel Stephan
, Anthill
September 14, 2023
Confessions of a self-aware theater kid
Carmel Stephan
, mouth of words
April 27, 2023
Students start putting Myers Briggs personality type on resumes
Carmel Stephan
, career advisor
April 20, 2023
Tell me your favorite color, and I’ll tell you your purpose in life
Carmel Stephan
, nose knotting
April 6, 2023
How to gently tell your friend their pornstache sucks
Carmel Stephan
, good with feelings
March 9, 2023
Styx presents at Undergrad Conference
Carmel Stephan
, Just horsing around
February 23, 2023
The greatest alternative to breaking up on Valentine’s Day
Carmel Stephan
, Relationship Guru (saw the Before Trilogy)
February 16, 2023
Sociology senior’s groundbreaking thesis gets national recognition
Carmel Stephan
, it’s me, I’m the soc senior
February 9, 2023
Lily Collins treks Paris in platforms: A review
Carmel Stephan
, désolée, parlez vous Anglais?
February 2, 2023
Break reminder: high school wasn’t about the friends you made along the way
Carmel Stephan
, I had friends in high school I promise
December 8, 2022
The definitive answer to when you can listen to holiday music
Carmel Stephan
, The Grinch
November 17, 2022
“Phantom of Chism” returns just to tell sophomore to stfu
Carmel Stephan
, pivoting to CS
November 3, 2022
A brief review of library etiquette
Carmel Stephan
, Hypocrite
October 27, 2022
Ode to my Cleve cup
Carmel Stephan
, Bargain Bin Bob Dylan
October 5, 2022
First-year taken hostage: Released under the condition they join sight-singing club
Carmel Stephan
, town crier
September 29, 2022
There’s something in the way she moves: Sarah Bolton’s Beatles Insta post summons George Harrison’s ghost
Carmel Stephan
, The real life taxman (watch out)
September 22, 2022
Which Admin building are you? Take this quiz to find out!
Carmel Stephan
, Yes it’s me, Playbuzz Editor in Chief
September 15, 2022
Two weeks left: Should you make a new friend?
Carmel Stephan
, I have friends mom, I promise
May 5, 2022
Letter to my long lost water bottle (been thinkin about you lately)
Carmel Stephan
, Hopeless Hydrator
April 28, 2022
Tell me your Cleve sandwich order and I’ll tell you how you’ll meet the love of your life
Carmel Stephan
, was too lazy to put a job title
April 14, 2022
Bridgerton season 2 review
Carmel Stephan
, Peasant
April 7, 2022
WEB invites Jeff Dunham, “America’s Favorite Comedian,” to Whitman
Carmel Stephan
, Ask me about my muppet
April 1, 2022
Whittie Joel: Whitman’s hottest Billy Joel Tribute Band
Carmel Stephan
, prefers not to be perceived
March 10, 2022
Couplets for an Early Spring
Carmel Stephan
, dry hands, sweaty armpits
February 24, 2022
Opera student disappears after last week’s performance, note left by phantom of Chism.
Carmel Stephan
, at this point just a mop of dry, brittle hair
February 17, 2022
3 ways to break it off with your winter break fling
Carmel Stephan
, Lost her funny, trying to get it back
February 10, 2022
Whitman holiday celebration goes wrong
Carmel Stephan
, does NOT have a thing for feet
December 9, 2021
What you’ve missed on this season of the Great British Bake Off
Carmel Stephan
, Moonlights as a college student (my real job is refusing to make eye contact)
November 18, 2021
An open letter to leaf blowers
Carmel Stephan
, The Lorax’s Bitch
November 11, 2021
Stop stressing about midterms: Failing is just performance art
Carmel Stephan
, Has never been out of Character
November 4, 2021
The Epic of Myles
Carmel Stephan
, Famed poet
October 28, 2021
Little Lad who likes Berries and Cream announced as special guest for campus dance workshop
Carmel Stephan
, Could go for some berries and cream
October 7, 2021
The Nail Clipper: Origins
Carmel Stephan
, Bona Fide journalist
September 30, 2021
A brief review of James Corden’s crimes against humanity
Carmel Stephan
, Peter Rabbit, in the flesh
September 23, 2021
So you’re going to have to poop in college and other first year dilemmas
Carmel Stephan
, Shit or get off the pot please.
September 16, 2021
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