The greatest alternative to breaking up on Valentine’s Day

Carmel Stephan, Relationship Guru (saw the Before Trilogy)

It’s that time of the semester when your four week relationship has now morphed into a wonderfully platonic friendship, or it has soured into a subdued toleration of one another that will eventually spin out into a tango of how to best avoid one another at all costs. In other words, it is time to break up. But how do you do so? No one likes to be rejected, and on top of that, it’s mid-February. Are you really the kind of person to put the final nail in the coffin on Valentine’s Day? 

Well, do I have a solution for you!

Too chicken to break up on Valentine’s Day?

Don’t worry. There’s a better, more fun alternative right ahead: President’s Day! This three-day weekend will allow the perfect time for your not-so-special-anymore somebody to get over themselves and move on! Imagine this: you’re on a ski trip with your partner (who has never skied) and you break the news to them on top of a black diamond. You then race down the hill as fast as you can. Not only can you prove your superior physical prowess, but you can also provide your partner with the perfect opportunity to fall in love with the toboggan person (because they will undoubtedly need external help getting down that hill); so really, you’re just providing them a public service. 

Don’t sweat it if you’re too wimpy to stomp some hearts out on Valentine’s Day. There’s a perfect alternative; you’ll just have to last another week.