Whitman holiday celebration goes wrong

Carmel Stephan, does NOT have a thing for feet

Illustration by Anna Stone.

‘Twas the night before break and inside the campus was a feast of such splendor eyes bulged out of their canthus. A fire was lit and crackled with laughter, festive music played and on the tv was Shrek Forever After. Jack Frost nipped at the noses of every little Whittie when the first snow fell and made everyone giddy. Romance filled the air and inspired new and old confessions as all would have a whole month’s break from their love affairs and sexual connections.

But as two lovers were about to kiss, right before 3 friends went to build a snowman and get others to assist, just as someone was entering cinematic bliss, a knock on the window interrupted the merrymaking, the lights blacked out and sent everyone’s boots shaking. 

As phone flashlights began to illuminate the scene, they were one by one stifled until the only light was the moon’s bright gleam. Students and faculty alike tried to exit the building, but all doors and exits were locked or blocked with some kind of shielding. People were frightened and can you blame them? All they came here for was some holiday cheer, not this unsettling mayhem. As the whole campus stood there in worry and confusion the sound of small clipping began to formulate a conclusion. Not seen since September, Whitties had forgotten: the illusive Nailclipper who lives to cure everyone’s mans has a keratin filled plan of domination that has yet to be begotten. 

The lights returned and the music began to play, but the people just stood stunned and silent, the only sound was a song about a sleigh. Coming out of shock the people looked at their nails with gasps and gulps of fright, and found a message from the Nailclipper, constructed out of their nail clippings, a truly perturbing sight.