Maddie Ott
| Mar 12, 2020 | How to enjoy spring break during an epidemic (Story) |
| Feb 20, 2020 | Heated liberal snowflakes reveal Buttigieg’s rat family via Twitter (Story) |
| Feb 06, 2020 | Stoner rediscovers water (Story) |
| Dec 12, 2019 | Stunning reveal: Adopt-a-Grandparent senior and their Whitman student are now dating! (Story) |
| Nov 21, 2019 | Reel Rock 14 goes from giant Whitman orgy to more intentional sex club (Story) |
| Nov 07, 2019 | A scary story to tell in the dark: Dignity lost in Sig basement (Story) |
| Oct 19, 2019 | Well-known Whitman couple discovers they are distant cousins after birth of first child (Story) |
| Oct 09, 2019 | Whitman cycling team trades bikes for skateboards in an attempt to get laid more (Story) |
| Sep 26, 2019 | Students Begin to Vomit for Pure Sport in Cleveland Commons (Story) |
| May 03, 2019 | Summer Article: Family is Disappointed When Man Baby Returns Home From College Addicted To “Game of Thrones” (Story) |
| Apr 25, 2019 | Community Poll: What are the Top 7 Things to Do in the Cleveland Bathrooms? (Story) |
| Apr 18, 2019 | First Year Feels Is Reminded That They Are an Actual Child When They Have to Get Their Wisdom Teeth Removed (Story) |
| Apr 09, 2019 | This article is not an advertisement (Story) |
| Apr 07, 2019 | Administration Thrilled to Start Extermination After Squirrel Finally Bites and Kills Student (Story) |
| Apr 03, 2019 | The Oracle Speaks (Story) |
| Mar 07, 2019 | After 3 Weeks of Intense Love-Making, the Dreaded ‘Talk’ Comes Up Again, and The Whitman Student Body is Here For It! (Story) |
| Feb 24, 2019 | Mystery Solved: Professor revealed to be garden gnome (Story) |
| Feb 14, 2019 | Ground Crew Gives Up (Story) |
| Jan 28, 2019 | In an Unsurprising Turn of Events, Reel Rock 13 Viewing Turns Into a Giant Whitman Orgy (Story) |
| Nov 29, 2018 | The Perfect Gift For the Perfect Lift: Three Heroic Stories of Gift-Giving Found in Rides-Digest (Story) |
| Nov 25, 2018 | Cause of Death: Florida (Story) |
| Nov 09, 2018 | BREAKING: Bon Appetit revealed to be reason why Whitman College is a D3 school (Story) |
| Nov 01, 2018 | Mom spends night in Jewett (Story) |
| Oct 22, 2018 | New Study Reveals that Over One-Half Of Whitman Graduates Live Out of Van Post College (Story) |
| Oct 12, 2018 | How to Survive These Times: Liberal Snowflake Edition (Story) |
| Oct 08, 2018 | Feeling Extra Rebellious Whitman Student Steals a Chair From Tennis Tournament, Sets it in the Middle of Ankeny, Sits on it, Runs Away. (Story) |
| Sep 23, 2018 | ORIENTATION IN REVIEW: IN A SURPRISING TURN OF EVENTS SEATTLE KIDS STICK TOGETHER (Story) |