How to enjoy spring break during an epidemic

Illustration+by+Hannah+Paul

Illustration by Hannah Paul

Maddie Ott, A Corn Husk

With the days before everyone leaves and contracts coronavirus (COVID-19) dwindling to a close, the urge (and, quite frankly, panic) to finalize spring break plans is upon our campus. 

You may be looking around and noticing that the friends you thought would commit to going on a week-long Enchantments backpacking trip have now secretly created an ulterior plan to go rock climbing in California … but it’s fine, because you have that family vacation to Mexico that you can go on. 

However, if you’re not in this boat and you have lovely, committed Whitman friends, then here are some suggestions about how to be better than everyone else by going on crazy, amazing, “insanely fun” trips during the peak flu – I mean, vacation season.

There’s nothing better than returning home and trying to coordinate a trip with high school friends during the three days you all have overlapping for spring break. Maybe, if you’re feeling frisky, you’ll even go on a little road trip with your high school friends where you try to respectively gauge who is going to be more successful post-graduation. 

Try staying in Walla Walla! As I previously mentioned, a little known virus is going around which is making it exceedingly difficult to justify eating a big ole plate of ribs and sticking your fingers in your mouth like a sexy baby. Additionally, this virus is also inhibiting travel plans to fun and exciting places like the greater Seattle area. So, if you’re enticed by the idea of a wild two weeks enjoying the crisp Walla Walla air, I’m sure you won’t be alone in your endeavors. 

Finally, if you are one of the few souls brave enough to venture beyond the confines of your comfort zone and reenter the world as a tourist, there is nothing bigger and better than heading to the Florida coast to soak up some sun and bask on the shrinking beaches. Your peers will gasp with jealousy when they hear about the friends you made and the culture you experienced. The drinks which you imbibe will stay with you for many years, and stay inside of you for many days afterward. 

And, for god’s sake, don’t visit any relatives older than the age of 50.