Whitman Wire

Ann Karneus

May 15, 2020
Life hack: Webkinz is free and nothing is stopping you from signing up right now (Story)
Apr 03, 2020
Administration begins threatening students to discourage them from staying on campus (Story)
Mar 12, 2020
Foot fetishists urge public to make carbon footprint as large as possible (Story)
Mar 12, 2020
One Minute Film Festival showcases variety in student film (Story)
Mar 05, 2020
Chastity Belt and Reptaliens in review (Story)
Feb 27, 2020
Wire Watch: Feb. 28- Mar. 6 (Story)
Feb 27, 2020
Tree to student ratio shattered after fallen tree revealed to be plastic replica (Story)
Feb 20, 2020
One Act Play Festival offers theatre for students across communities (Story)
Feb 13, 2020
Why I’ve decided to press charges against the IMLeagues website (Story)
Feb 06, 2020
Whitman administration frantically seeks solution as first-years drop out to pursue lucrative TikTok careers (Story)
Feb 06, 2020
Banff Mountain Film Festival in review (Story)
Dec 12, 2019
Kid who didn’t have cable growing up has slight superiority complex (Story)
Dec 05, 2019
Super fan Steve Bannon furious to learn that Ariana Grande fans not called “Aryans” (Story)
Nov 21, 2019
High demand pushes counseling center to hold sessions in Reid (Story)
Nov 07, 2019
Man who trades in iPhone for flip phone likens himself to contemporary Thoreau (Story)
Nov 01, 2019
Area man who bought king sized candy bars for trick-or-treaters clearly compensating for something (Story)
Oct 31, 2019
Eddy Vasquez ‘15 talks liberal arts, art and design  (Story)
Oct 09, 2019
Thank god: These seven ideas will save your four day (Story)
Oct 03, 2019
School district meets standard quota of one creepy teacher (Story)
Oct 03, 2019
Sally Rooney: In review (Story)
May 03, 2019
A Whitman Year in Review (Story)
Apr 25, 2019
Breaking: Mama Bear only made 79% of porridge Papa Bear made (Story)
Apr 19, 2019
Op-Ed: My sexual awakening was the first black hole photo (Story)
Apr 10, 2019
Couple’s success attributed to Disney fetish (Story)
Mar 27, 2019
DMV Eye-Spy games propel Conspicious Tie-Dye T-Shirt Clad Man to fame (Story)
Mar 04, 2019
Juul Labs launches new line of battery acid; sewage flavored pods (Story)
Feb 28, 2019
Straight man has bombshell realization that ancient Greece was really gay (Story)
Feb 14, 2019
Walla Walla Valentine’s Day Restaurant Edition: What Your Choice Means for Your Budding Relationship (Story)
Feb 08, 2019
Helpful study tip: do your fucking homework you pathetic piece of shit (Story)
Dec 06, 2018
Breaking: Patiss replaces coffee with well water; will only accept the king’s coin henceforth (Story)
Nov 01, 2018
Worst Fear Realized: My boyfriend broke up with me the day before Halloween so now we can’t do the couples costume we were planning (Story)
Oct 25, 2018
What’s Worse: Walking in on Your Teacher in the Bathroom or Having Them Walk in on You? (Story)
Oct 12, 2018
Snacks, Gas Money Provided for 4-Day Carpool Ride, but not Good Times (Story)
Sep 28, 2018
First-year breaks through with ingenious new reading of Marx (Story)
Sep 24, 2018
Panhellenic cancels Sorority recruitment in light of giant bird destroying tea sandwich table (Story)
May 03, 2018
Worst of 2017-2018: BB Gun Bandits (Story)
Apr 26, 2018
How to Get The Classes You Didn’t Get During Registration (Story)
Apr 12, 2018
Spring Visitors’ Day Catfished Me (Story)
Mar 29, 2018
5 Ways To Show Your Problematic Dream Man That You’re Not Like Other Girls (Story)
Mar 01, 2018
Whitman Campus Tours Now Extend to Walkthrough of Unfinished Residence Hall (Story)
Jan 25, 2018
War on Christmas Projected to Have Even Greater Impact on Religion than the Crusades (Story)
Dec 07, 2017
Whitman Flat Earth Society Plans Trip to Prove that Earth is Flat Once and For All (Story)
Nov 09, 2017
Ann’s Advice: Declaring a Major (Story)
Oct 08, 2017
Rogue Sprinklers Continue to Terrorize Student Body (Story)
Sep 28, 2017
Ann Etymological Roast (Story)
Whitman news since 1896
Ann Karneus