War on Christmas Projected to Have Even Greater Impact on Religion than the Crusades

Ann Karneus, Windshield Wiper

Guns blazing, dicks out, Christians came out in force this holiday* season. Determined to snuff out the destructive liberal agenda that jeopardizes the Lord’s birthday, Christians used their might to put an end to the blasphemy raging in America. One of the most disturbing offenses leveled against people of the Christian faith was the removal of Christmas cups from Starbucks last year. Other heinous offenses include the increasingly popular usage of “Happy Holidays” rather than the traditional “Merry Christmas.” Acts like these raise an important and concerning question that should be on the minds of all American citizens: are Christians marginalized? The War began after the release of John Gibson’s book “The War on Christmas: How the Liberal Plot to Ban the Sacred Christian Holiday Is Worse Than You Thought” in 2005, and this epic, decade long battle shows no signs of slowing down. Gibson has been heavily persecuted for his beliefs since its release, but his efforts to spread awareness were not in vain; he ignited the spark that is this revolution. In a society where we must fight to be ourselves and practice what we want, it is heartening to see Christians stand up to oppression and fight back against grievous acts such as the Starbucks cups, that are now merely solid red. Moving forward, it is unclear what God almighty has planned for the heretics that threaten the sacred holiday of Christmas, where a fat man in red leaves material things for children and people bring dead trees into their homes and adorn them with glass balls. The future of Christianity as we know it is unclear, but it is important to always remain diligent in the face of religious freedom and people who do not share the same beliefs as you.