Ann Karneus – Whitman Wire

Ann Karneus

All content by Ann Karneus

Life hack: Webkinz is free and nothing is stopping you from signing up right now

May 15, 2020

Administration begins threatening students to discourage them from staying on campus

April 3, 2020

Foot fetishists urge public to make carbon footprint as large as possible

March 12, 2020

One Minute Film Festival showcases variety in student film

March 12, 2020

Chastity Belt and Reptaliens in review

March 5, 2020

Wire Watch: Feb. 28- Mar. 6

February 27, 2020

Tree to student ratio shattered after fallen tree revealed to be plastic replica

February 27, 2020

One Act Play Festival offers theatre for students across communities

February 20, 2020

Why I’ve decided to press charges against the IMLeagues website

February 13, 2020

Whitman administration frantically seeks solution as first-years drop out to pursue lucrative TikTok careers

February 6, 2020

Banff Mountain Film Festival in review

February 6, 2020

Kid who didn’t have cable growing up has slight superiority complex

December 12, 2019

Super fan Steve Bannon furious to learn that Ariana Grande fans not called “Aryans”

December 5, 2019

High demand pushes counseling center to hold sessions in Reid

November 21, 2019

Man who trades in iPhone for flip phone likens himself to contemporary Thoreau

November 7, 2019

Area man who bought king sized candy bars for trick-or-treaters clearly compensating for something

November 1, 2019

Eddy Vasquez ‘15 talks liberal arts, art and design

October 31, 2019

Thank god: These seven ideas will save your four day

October 9, 2019

School district meets standard quota of one creepy teacher

October 3, 2019

Sally Rooney: In review

October 3, 2019

A Whitman Year in Review

May 3, 2019

Breaking: Mama Bear only made 79% of porridge Papa Bear made

April 25, 2019

Op-Ed: My sexual awakening was the first black hole photo

April 19, 2019

Couple’s success attributed to Disney fetish

April 10, 2019

DMV Eye-Spy games propel Conspicious Tie-Dye T-Shirt Clad Man to fame

March 27, 2019

Juul Labs launches new line of battery acid; sewage flavored pods

March 4, 2019

Straight man has bombshell realization that ancient Greece was really gay

February 28, 2019

Walla Walla Valentine’s Day Restaurant Edition: What Your Choice Means for Your Budding Relationship

February 14, 2019

Helpful study tip: do your fucking homework you pathetic piece of shit

February 8, 2019

Breaking: Patiss replaces coffee with well water; will only accept the king’s coin henceforth

December 7, 2018

Worst Fear Realized: My boyfriend broke up with me the day before Halloween so now we can’t do the couples costume we were planning

November 1, 2018

What’s Worse: Walking in on Your Teacher in the Bathroom or Having Them Walk in on You?

October 25, 2018

Snacks, Gas Money Provided for 4-Day Carpool Ride, but not Good Times

October 12, 2018

First-year breaks through with ingenious new reading of Marx

September 28, 2018

Panhellenic cancels Sorority recruitment in light of giant bird destroying tea sandwich table

September 24, 2018

Worst of 2017-2018: BB Gun Bandits

May 3, 2018

How to Get The Classes You Didn’t Get During Registration

April 26, 2018

Spring Visitors’ Day Catfished Me

April 12, 2018

5 Ways To Show Your Problematic Dream Man That You’re Not Like Other Girls

March 29, 2018

Whitman Campus Tours Now Extend to Walkthrough of Unfinished Residence Hall

March 1, 2018

War on Christmas Projected to Have Even Greater Impact on Religion than the Crusades

January 25, 2018

Whitman Flat Earth Society Plans Trip to Prove that Earth is Flat Once and For All

December 7, 2017

Ann’s Advice: Declaring a Major

November 9, 2017

Rogue Sprinklers Continue to Terrorize Student Body

October 8, 2017

Ann Etymological Roast

September 28, 2017

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Ann Karneus