Ann Karneus

Life hack: Webkinz is free and nothing is stopping you from signing up right now

Ann Karneus, ringlord
May 15, 2020

Administration begins threatening students to discourage them from staying on campus

Ann Karneus, Squatter
April 3, 2020

Foot fetishists urge public to make carbon footprint as large as possible

Ann Karneus, Toe Sucker
March 12, 2020

One Minute Film Festival showcases variety in student film

Ann Karneus
March 12, 2020

Chastity Belt and Reptaliens in review

Ann Karneus, A&E Reporter
March 5, 2020

Wire Watch: Feb. 28- Mar. 6

Ann Karneus, A&E Reporter
February 27, 2020

Tree to student ratio shattered after fallen tree revealed to be plastic replica

Ann Karneus, Prospective Student
February 27, 2020

One Act Play Festival offers theatre for students across communities

Ann Karneus, A&E Reporter
February 20, 2020

Why I’ve decided to press charges against the IMLeagues website

Ann Karneus
February 13, 2020

Whitman administration frantically seeks solution as first-years drop out to pursue lucrative TikTok careers

Ann Karneus, TikTok CEO
February 6, 2020

Banff Mountain Film Festival in review

Ann Karneus, A&E Reporter
February 6, 2020

Kid who didn’t have cable growing up has slight superiority complex

Ann Karneus, Dirty Dan
December 12, 2019

Super fan Steve Bannon furious to learn that Ariana Grande fans not called “Aryans”

Ann Karneus, Athlete
December 5, 2019

High demand pushes counseling center to hold sessions in Reid

Ann Karneus, H0rny
November 21, 2019

Man who trades in iPhone for flip phone likens himself to contemporary Thoreau

Ann Karneus, Aroused
November 7, 2019

Area man who bought king sized candy bars for trick-or-treaters clearly compensating for something

Ann Karneus, Youtuber
November 1, 2019

Eddy Vasquez ‘15 talks liberal arts, art and design

Ann Karneus, A&E Reporter
October 31, 2019

Thank god: These seven ideas will save your four day

Ann Karneus
October 9, 2019

School district meets standard quota of one creepy teacher

Ann Karneus, Recovering Candy Crush Addict
October 3, 2019

Sally Rooney: In review

Ann Karneus, A&E Reporter
October 3, 2019

A Whitman Year in Review

Ann Karneus, My Little Friend
May 3, 2019

Breaking: Mama Bear only made 79% of porridge Papa Bear made

Ann Karneus, Vogue’s Shortest Correspondent ’04
April 25, 2019

Op-Ed: My sexual awakening was the first black hole photo

Ann Karneus, Excellent Chicken Noodle Soup Recipe
April 19, 2019

Couple’s success attributed to Disney fetish

Ann Karneus, Robot Scent
April 10, 2019

DMV Eye-Spy games propel Conspicious Tie-Dye T-Shirt Clad Man to fame

Ann Karneus, Grandma-at-Large
March 27, 2019

Juul Labs launches new line of battery acid; sewage flavored pods

Ann Karneus, Owner of Dr. Feelgood’s Olde Bar and Grille
March 4, 2019

Straight man has bombshell realization that ancient Greece was really gay

Ann Karneus, Tomb Raider’s Elderly Aunt
February 28, 2019

Walla Walla Valentine’s Day Restaurant Edition: What Your Choice Means for Your Budding Relationship

Ann Karneus, Best Baked Alaska Runner-Up 1923
February 14, 2019

Helpful study tip: do your fucking homework you pathetic piece of shit

Ann Karneus, Eight Frogs in a Trench Coat
February 8, 2019

Breaking: Patiss replaces coffee with well water; will only accept the king’s coin henceforth

Ann Karneus, Digestible Crayon
December 7, 2018

Worst Fear Realized: My boyfriend broke up with me the day before Halloween so now we can’t do the couples costume we were planning

Ann Karneus, Corn on the Throb
November 1, 2018

What’s Worse: Walking in on Your Teacher in the Bathroom or Having Them Walk in on You?

Ann Karneus, Mean
October 25, 2018

Snacks, Gas Money Provided for 4-Day Carpool Ride, but not Good Times

Ann Karneus, Corn Nut Addict
October 12, 2018

First-year breaks through with ingenious new reading of Marx

Ann Karneus, Rejected Mathlete
September 28, 2018

Panhellenic cancels Sorority recruitment in light of giant bird destroying tea sandwich table

Ann Karneus, Afraid of Bicycles
September 24, 2018

Worst of 2017-2018: BB Gun Bandits

Ann Karneus, Posse Member #3
May 3, 2018

How to Get The Classes You Didn’t Get During Registration

Ann Karneus, Kann Arneus
April 26, 2018

Spring Visitors’ Day Catfished Me

Ann Karneus, Calls It Like It Is
April 12, 2018

5 Ways To Show Your Problematic Dream Man That You’re Not Like Other Girls

Ann Karneus, Impressed Gourd
March 29, 2018

Whitman Campus Tours Now Extend to Walkthrough of Unfinished Residence Hall

Ann Karneus, Wormy Boi
March 1, 2018

War on Christmas Projected to Have Even Greater Impact on Religion than the Crusades

Ann Karneus, Windshield Wiper
January 25, 2018

Whitman Flat Earth Society Plans Trip to Prove that Earth is Flat Once and For All

Ann Karneus, The Jingliest of Bells
December 7, 2017

Ann’s Advice: Declaring a Major

Ann Karneus, Ham Sandwich
November 9, 2017

Rogue Sprinklers Continue to Terrorize Student Body

Ann Karneus, News Regurgitator
October 8, 2017

Ann Etymological Roast

Ann Karneus, Jellyfish Fanatic
September 28, 2017

Ann Karneus

Whitman Wire