Grace Canny, definitely not compensating for anything
• March 2, 2023
So you’re wondering how best to display your upper-middle class wealth over spring break? Here are three ways that you can get everyone thinking you are really cool - like so awesome - they definitely...
Ian Lewis, loyal servant of our printer overlords
• February 23, 2023
To the shock of the Whitman community and science at large, Wepa has gained sentience and become aware of its own existence.
While the exact circumstances of the cloud-based campus printing service's...
Lee Thomas, Anti-Lee Thomas Advocate
• February 23, 2023
This week, Whitman College unveiled its newly approved academic concentration in Human Evil. After nine months of collaboration across departments, the concentration invites students of any major to approach...
Grace Canny, this article is dedicated to Paloma Link
• February 23, 2023
You know and love them: CoHo cooks. Whitman’s own three aspiring chefs, creating a daring blend of flavors from Omaha, Seattle and Encitas. @coho_cooks on Instagram has risen to fame among the burgeoning...
This semester, for the 25th annual Whitman College Undergraduate Conference, the infamous Styx will hold a presentation on the history of horses in cinema. Few people realize that Styx is not merely a...
Grace Canny, Pathological liar (or am I?)
• February 16, 2023
As of Feb. 15, The Wire investigative team has discovered that Whitman College is planning to award its annual honorary degree to fabricator, fibber, downright deceiver and Congressional Representative...
Ian Lewis, Feeling like Prometheus, but mainly in the bird attack way
• February 16, 2023
After a reportedly lively debate regarding the recent murder-bird situation, the Whitman College Board of Trustees have released a statement describing the recent endless scourge of avian death as...
Rachel Husband, loose-lipped above and below
• February 16, 2023
Dearest Reader,
In this article, you shall find some of my favorite stories from the Whitman College campus; some of these stories you may have heard, some of which may be falsified and all of which...
Carmel Stephan, Relationship Guru (saw the Before Trilogy)
• February 16, 2023
It’s that time of the semester when your four week relationship has now morphed into a wonderfully platonic friendship, or it has soured into a subdued toleration of one another that will eventually...
Carmel Stephan, it’s me, I’m the soc senior
• February 9, 2023
Entitled "The Held Door: All Your Social Etiquette Quandaries Solved," a Whitman sociology senior’s thesis has shaken the ground of social science. As its title indicates, the study details and proves...
“I haven’t eaten in days; I’m losing sleep. I can’t even focus on my crocheting; I’m torn to shreds over this,” sophomore Kelsey Smith said. The thing eating her alive is something some...
Thrifting has boomed as a public activity within the last few years thanks to social media promoting the "finds" that buyers can score from a trip (and no thanks to Macklemore). Since what got me bullied...
