Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Vol. CLIV, Issue 10
Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Elden Ring has ruined my life, and other excuses

Sammy Fitts, Millicent Simp April 1, 2022

Your life is falling apart. This is a fact, not a guess. You’ve been failing all your classes, never have time for self-care and can’t fix your lack of bitches. Now you need excuses to explain your...

Do you have a toxic relationship with your institution of higher education? Take this quiz to find out!

Grace Canny, I never know what to put here April 1, 2022

At the end of a long school week, do you ever find yourself wondering if you might have a fraught relationship with your institution of higher education? If so, this quiz is for you! Q1: Does your college...

Illustration by Paloma Link.

Senior Psychology major kidnaps underclassmen for thesis study

Lee Thomas, I don't know who I am April 1, 2022

Whitman senior Jackson Harding is on academic and legal probation following the kidnapping of nineteen Jewett residents and eleven Stanton students. The week before spring break, his pleas for participation...

Illustration by Kimberly Auran.

The forgotten history of Whitman’s space program

Conor Bartol, Bad At Making Fake Acronyms (B.A.M.F.) April 1, 2022

On a brisk 1978 morning, four Whitman students boarded a rocket, The Lazy Duckling, on its maiden voyage to the stars. Their mission: to land on the moon. The cream-of-the-crop of the Whitman Space...

Illustration by Madeleine Stolp.

WEB invites Jeff Dunham, “America’s Favorite Comedian,” to Whitman

Carmel Stephan, Ask me about my muppet April 1, 2022

Whitman Events Board has invited Jeff Dunham, comedian, ventriloquist and owner of the original Batmobile from the 1989 Tim Burton film, to be this spring's biggest guest speaker. WEB initially...

Auntie Lee’s cures for Frat Flu

Lee Thomas, Gogo's nemesis October 28, 2021

Well Auntie Lee, I've got it. No amount of Emergen-C has been able to fix it. I've been out of commission since the weekend and really need to get back to the grind. How can I cure my Frat Flu? Ah-choo, Saturday...

Illustration by Madi Welch.

The Epic of Myles

Carmel Stephan, Famed poet October 28, 2021

On All Hallow’s Eve at the banks of Bennington Lake, stands a lanky Coloradan and his friends. Lithe of limb but calloused and toned by beginner climbing classes, clad in chacos and a Patagonia...

Illustration by Shasta Soles.

Students prepare for an emotional, music-filled November

Ben Kearney, Spotify will judge me and I’m okay with that. October 28, 2021

Students heading into the month of November are going in cautiously with boxes of tissues at the ready. With Taylor Swift and Adele putting out new music within a week of each other, Whitman students...

Illustration by Paloma Link.

North Hall Haunted House cancelled after real phantom discovered

Conor Bartol, Professional Shenaniganizer October 28, 2021

Prior to its closure, North Hall, former hospital and first-year hell hole, was the site of the extremely scary annual haunted house on campus. Now that it’s open again, the haunted house is back on....

Wire Watch: The Week of October 12

Michelle Foster, A&E Editor October 8, 2017

Whitman Fridays at Four Recital Series Presents The South Hill Guitars: Oct. 13 at 4 p.m. in the Kimball Theatre. This recital will feature musicians James Reid and J.P. Shields. International Archaeology...

Photo by Samarah Uribe Mendez.

Internation Celebration promotes diverse nationalities, open discussion

Michelle Foster, Staff Writer March 2, 2017

Excitement and an air of festivity filled the Reid Coffeehouse as performers took the stage to offer tastes of their cultures. This was the sixth annual InterNation Celebration, held on Saturday, Feb....

Community College Poetry and Dance Project translates art to new forms

Community College “Poetry and Dance Project” translates art to new forms

Michelle Foster, Staff Writer October 13, 2016

Poetry, dance, music and theatre were intertwined in a moving performance at Walla Walla Community College. “A Poetry and Dance Project” was held at 7 p.m. on Oct. 8, and was centered around the poems...

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