Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Vol. CLIV, Issue 8
Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Samantha Fitts, Humor Editor

Samantha (she/her) is a fourth-year History major. This is her second year at The Wire, and she has firmly established herself as the Humor section's (fourth) funniest and (second) sexiest member.

All content by Samantha Fitts

BREAKING: New Super Mario Bros. Movie trailer has dropped

Samantha Fitts, hot and ready in under 15 minutes
December 8, 2022
Photo by Oliver Baltzer.

“Rocky Horror” fucked (A recap)

Samantha Fitts, very drunk (hungover)
November 3, 2022

Solving the mystery of my own murder

Sammy Fitts, Better Sherlock Than Bennadrill Cumberbun
April 14, 2022
Illustration by Kimberly Auran.

Samantha reviews: Pokémon Legends: Arceus

Sammy Fitts, Totally Not a Changeling Taking Her Place
March 3, 2022
Illustration by Anna Stone.

Letter to the Editor: The mystery of my own murder

Sammy Fitts, Experiencing Eternal Damnation
February 24, 2022

Opinion: People should pay more attention to me

Sammy Fitts, Make Sure Not to Forget It
February 10, 2022

Whitman holiday celebration goes wrong

Sammy Fitts, Assigned to Butter Your Muffin.
December 9, 2021
Illustration by Madi Welch.

Actors who should play Garfield instead of Chris Pratt

Sammy Fitts, “White Introverted Raunchy E-Girl” Writer
November 18, 2021
Illustration by Shasta Soles.

Using my status as a Wire humor writer for Tinder clout: a true experiment

Sammy Fitts, Feminist But In The Way Men Think It Means
November 4, 2021
Illustration by Madi Welch.

Actors who should play Mario instead of Chris Pratt

Sammy Fitts, Single (X) Taken (X) Gamer(?)
October 7, 2021

5 ways to find players for your tabletop campaign if talking to people scares you

Sammy Fitts, Pining for the female-presenting Maxey Demon
September 30, 2021
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