Do you have a toxic relationship with your institution of higher education? Take this quiz to find out!

Grace Canny, I never know what to put here

At the end of a long school week, do you ever find yourself wondering if you might have a fraught relationship with your institution of higher education? If so, this quiz is for you!

Q1: Does your college permit you to hang out with friends?
Does your college ever try to restrict your ability to hang out with friends, perhaps by asking you to make sure the social gathering is five people or smaller? Sometimes, a controlling institution will exert power over your social time to preserve “safety” or “wellbeing,” but this is actually a sign of a toxic relationship.

Q2: Do they rate your performance?
Does your college ever give you unprompted feedback around the mid semester mark? Your college may give their perspective to seem helpful or to support your “growth and education at this institution,” but you never asked for their opinion! Be careful, dear reader, this is a common tactic used by manipulative institutions to tear you down.

Q3: Do you often feel angry at your institution of higher ed?

This is a straightforward and hard-hitting question. Take a moment and look inside yourself: do you often have unresolved anger towards your school? If so, it’s a sign your relationship is in a state of dysfunction and needs some adjustment.

Q4: Are they financially abusive?
Think back to occasions where you have had to pay your institution of higher education. Were they ever asking for what you thought was too much? Did they capitalize upon your immature optimism and your inability to conceptualize very, very, very large amounts of money? Did they ever try to modestly up-charge you after the fact, say by 4.7%, despite nothing really changing to cause this tuition increase expense? This indicates borderline predatory behavior on behalf of your college.

Q5: Do they try to poison you?
My precious reader, if your college has ever tried to inflict biological warfare upon you through food, you most definitely have an unhealthy and toxic relationship.

Unfortunately, if you answered yes to any of these questions, it seems you have a toxic relationship with your school. Remember that you are an empowered individual with the ability to cut off your small liberal arts college for good!