Whitman Wire

Illustration by Kai Bowen.

Student orders 4lbs of bees to Reid post office

Grace Canny, dutiful roommate to Alissa Berman April 7, 2022

Early Wednesday morning, while all of campus slept, a detectable hum was in the air. Not a single bird dared chirp nor a duck dare quack. Whitman was nearly silent except for one building: Reid Campus...

House of former RAs build too much community

Grace Jackson, News Editor April 7, 2022

When 6 former Residents Assistants (RAs) moved into 6969 Valencia St—or the Hague—they were all excited to get away from the first-years. “We’d all been working so hard on programs that no one...

Horses demand their dewormer from anti-vaxxers

Conor Bartol, Ass-half of the two-person horse costume September 23, 2021

Misinformation, conspiracy theories, pseudoscience: the effort to vaccinate Americans against COVID-19 has faced a lot of hurdles, least of which is some people’s propensity to turn toward untested “treatments”...

Auntie Lee’s Advice: for the embarrassed student

Lee Thomas, awake for the last 48 hours September 23, 2021

Dear Auntie Lee,  I'm a first-year student at Whitman, and these last few weeks were rough. I already feel I've ruined my future here because of all the embarrassment I've caused myself recently. I...

Fundraiser established to send Jeff Bezos to space and keep him there

Fundraiser established to send Jeff Bezos to space and keep him there

Lee Thomas, President of PALT (the People Against Lee Thomas) organization September 16, 2021

Jeff Bezos, the "self-made" billionaire, shocked the world when he shot a load of metal into space with himself inside. While he only lasted a few minutes, many have been speculating over what this means...

So you’re going to have to poop in college and other first year dilemmas

Carmel Stephan, Shit or get off the pot please. September 16, 2021

This summer, as you sat your bare ass down on the porcelain throne, it may have occurred to you that this level of comfort would soon cease to exist. You wouldn’t be pooping in your private residence...

Headlines

Trevor Lewis, Humor Writer December 8, 2016

Your Mom’s Gonna Love That New Ying-Yang Face Tattoo   “Why are Finals?” and Other Questions Asked in the Quiet Room at 4:00a.m.   Local First-Year Can’t Wait to Continue...

In The News

Ben Freedman, Humor Editor November 10, 2016

MONDAY Study: BBMB Majors choose course of study solely for intellectual self-aggrandizement TUESDAY Thanksgiving dinner with Wisconsin extended family poses foreseeable conflict WEDNESDAY Beginning...

The Blue Mountains east of Walla Walla. Photo by Marra Clay

Whitman Announces New Mascot

Marra Clay, Publisher November 3, 2016
The Blues will officially become Whitman College’s new mascot. On Thursday, November 3rd, President Kathy Murray emailed the announcement to the Whitman Community. She wrote “After looking at all the responses from alumni, students, faculty and staff to the most recent survey, it became clear right away that the Whitman Community feels the Blues is the mascot that best represents Whitman.”
Illustration by Meg Cuca

Treat your journalists right

Andrew Schwartz October 20, 2016

Two headlines off the impetuous digital press dateline September 8, 2016: “The Entire Seattle Seahawks Team Will Protest the National Anthem at Opening Game” and “Entire Seahawks Team Planning to...

This week in the news

Jeffrey Gustaveson, Staff Writer September 8, 2016

-Post-80s dance Prentiss brunch the surest sign yet that the apocalypse is nigh -RA spends a heartbreaking amount of time making bathroom “Crush Board” poster that will be covered in phallic imagery...

In The News

April 1, 2016

THIS JUST IN: Parents just really think you should major in BBMB “Honey, your cousin Tim majored in Biology at the U, and he’s in med school now! And remember, there’ll always be sick people in...

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