Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire
Vol. CLVI, CIRCUIT
Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire
Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Madeline Kemp, Humor Editor

All content by Madeline Kemp
First dates for seniors

First dates for seniors

Madeline Kemp
May 16, 2021
Illustration by Lily Buller.

What Big Pharma and Coffee Corps DO NOT want you to know about cold brew

Madeline Kemp, str8 edge
April 15, 2021

When it comes to renewing social distancing, double standards run rampant

Madeline Kemp, Quaking in my Boots!
November 25, 2020
Illustration by Hayden Cooper.

Why humor writers are doing the most right now

Madeline Kemp, Humble
November 19, 2020

Sorry first years: Burnt out returning students don’t even want an in-person spring

Madeline Kemp, Ungrateful Wench
November 12, 2020

Exploring Whitman’s endowment further; Buried in local land

Madeline Kemp, GM Jones Barbecque & Foot Massage
November 5, 2020

Florida men reconsider sexuality after Trump offers to kiss them

Madeline Kemp, was called the gay f-word this week
October 22, 2020
Illustration by Hayden Cooper.

Student reluctant to tell his mom that her new accessories are up-cycled anal beads

Madeline Kemp, Pinkies Up
October 15, 2020

Students struggling to maintain schedules based on UV-index

Madeline Kemp, 3.5-inch Punisher
October 8, 2020
Illustration by Elie Flanagan.

Disappointed Snapchatter finds Bitmoji hotter than person IRL

Madeline Kemp, Ms. Worldwide, Ms. 305
October 1, 2020

Summer 2020 internships newly posted to Handshake

Madeline Kemp, Lean, Mean, Fighting Cuisine
September 24, 2020

Things I Can Now Accomplish During Remote Class Sessions

Madeline Kemp, Naughty Possum
September 10, 2020

Kasey “Catfish” Joseph: Whitman’s Dean of Humans discovered using fake online profiles to stay in touch with student culture

Madeline Kemp, Miffed
December 5, 2019
Illustration by Anika Vučićević

Obituaries for the plants that were gone too soon

Madeline Kemp, OneDirection tumblr Fan-Fiction Enthusiast
November 11, 2019

Reid Market dresses up as Whole Foods

Madeline Kemp, Meme Archivist
November 1, 2019
Illustration by Lanh Tran

Sweatier weather: Jewett plague gets moist

Madeline Kemp, Rodeo Clown
October 21, 2019
Illustration by Anika Vučićević

Confession: I’m addicted to taking up space

Madeline Kemp, Lactose Sensitive
October 19, 2019

Alum looking forward to wild night in Health Center

Madeline Kemp
September 30, 2019
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