Obituaries for the plants that were gone too soon


Illustration by Anika Vučićević

Madeline Kemp, OneDirection tumblr Fan-Fiction Enthusiast

Lil Succ

20 April – 13 October 2019

Lil was eagerly adopted from the free succulent event by WEB last spring. She made it all the way home for the summer, battled a brief bout of wilting in the July heat, but persevered. Lil enjoyed poetry, long days on the shelf and tanning in her pebbles. 

She was always a fighter, but unfortunately in this cold weather, she simply shriveled away. 

Donations can be directed to the Sweaters for Succulents Society in Lil’s Memory. RIP.



28 August – 2 November 2019

Fern was accomplished in the field of social services, and became a comfort companion to a student struggling with separation from their beloved dog back home. Fern gave his keeper purpose early on in the semester; watered every other day without fail and occasionally trimmed. When classes and commitments took his student’s attention away from his care, Fern occupied time by releasing dust all over his desk. 

Abandonment ultimately took Fern’s life, but his memory will be cherished. 

A service will be held in the coming weeks, at the compost pile at the Organic Garden. 

All who loved Fern are welcome. 



4 October – 31 October 2019

All were shocked by Cactus’ sudden passing, as most are extraordinarily resilient. Cactus’ prickles were beautiful, and initiated her wildly successful career as an instagram influencer (@its_prickly.btch). However, with fame and fortune comes great responsibility and pressure. Cactus lived fast and died young, just four weeks old, when on Halloween she was given 4Loko in her pot and two fatty Juul rips were blown her way. 

She leaves us all too soon, and is survived by two little sprouts.