Things I Can Now Accomplish During Remote Class Sessions

Madeline Kemp, Naughty Possum

Two weeks into our remote semester and not only am I continually enlightened by the content of my courses, I am also experiencing revelations about productivity like never before. Once I stopped fighting the urge to practice any self-discipline, I discovered a whole new world of efficiency. The best part: all can be done with your camera…on. I am gracing you with some highlights thus far. 


Easy. No more running around, dining hall to academic building, hot coffee spilling up my sleeve. Now I sit down having come straight from the kitchen, with a full plate of food. While I don’t enjoy scarfing my food, I rest assured that I could eat like an animal and no one would hear me chewing with my mic muted. There is a wake of clothes and dishes to both of my sides, but that garbage is out of camera range so you’d never know. 

*Soul Searching*

Too many times I’ve caught myself staring into my own little face next to my professor’s. As they lecture, I slowly become entranced by my own reflection looking back at me. It may sound egotistical to self-gaze, but the truth is, I’ve never been more mindful. I ponder, who am I? What am I doing here? The experience is otherworldly and lasts until *record scratch* the professor decides to share their screen. This isn’t for the faint of heart. Turning off self-view is an option. 

Hygiene Tasks From the Waist Down

We’re talking moisturizing, nail-trimming, stray-hair plucking – anything that can be done below the desk and would definitely be inappropriate in the classroom, is now on the table. While I can’t brush my teeth without drawing untoward attention, I’m confident that looking down toward my lap looks like I’m listening intently and taking notes.

Anything That Can Be Done in Different Tabs

Not to brag, but I earned a Food Handlers Permit in the state of Washington during an 80-minute class. The possibilities are endless. You don’t have to worry about looking like a tool online shopping in class. No one will see over your shoulder that you scored that great deal on Amazon. Turn your class into a podcast, or mute that noise to check things off of your list and no one is the wiser.