In the recent wave of students seeking summer employment, several Whitman students resorted to citing their Myers-Briggs personality type under "special skills.” The trend began with psychology senior,...
Grace Canny, owner of four lightly used hospital beds
• April 20, 2023
You knew her, you loved her: the forsale-digest. It’s not enough for Google to be surveilling us constantly, they also have to be lame and abandon the digest format. The tireless tech administrators...
Ian Lewis, absolutely anxiety-free
• April 20, 2023
Throwback!
If there’s one thing people always say, it’s that April’s all about nostalgia. There’s nothing quite like reminiscing on the past. Whether it’s cherished family memories or some...
Samantha Fitts, down bad for animated women
• April 13, 2023
Warning: This review contains spoilers.
I hate to admit it, but this movie did not have the right to be as good as it actually was. "The Super Mario Bros. Movie" is a kid’s film first and foremost,...
In an event that got moderate YikYak attention, the April Fool, for whom the day was named, sat on Whitman's own Ankeny Field on March 31. The April Fool gave out prizes, including loose grass and...
Lee Thomas, Not immune to vampiric seduction
• April 13, 2023
In shocking news this week, the citizens of Walla Walla were alerted by the city government about a vampire infestation throughout town. What was thought to be mere rumors was proven true when the local...
The unthinkable happened last Thursday at Reid Campus Center when the CCEC’s escape room proved truly inescapable for three unlucky participants. Theories are floating around about the whereabouts of...
Rachel Husband, inflicting lasting cyber-harm
• April 13, 2023
Former President Donald Trump arrived disheveled in court last week after he was indicted for a variety of crimes. These crimes included paying hush money to a porn star, selling illegal “dick pills”...
Rachel Husband, Environmental Studies-Astrology Major
• April 6, 2023
The upcoming installation of turf athletic fields has drawn deep, tumultuous lines between the "crunchy granola environmentalist kids" and the "sports kids" at Whitman College. Turf fields are notorious...
Missed the CCEC meeting on finding your purpose? No problem! That’s right everybody, I’m offering my special, clairvoyant services this one time completely free of charge. You’re welcome.
If your...
Lee Thomas, Modern art snob as performance art
• April 6, 2023
Controversy struck this week as 30-something-year-old liberals visiting Walla Walla incorrectly identified the notorious chalk-man's alt-right ramblings as Jenny Holzer street art. A group of five...
Grace Canny, tried to think of something but alas
• April 6, 2023
In an attempt to engage the unresponsive student population, and at the direction of Student Affairs, this article will suffice as the REQUIRED anti-hazing education; The Wire has incredible readership...
