Whitman Wire

Tell me your Cleve sandwich order and I’ll tell you how you’ll meet the love of your life

Carmel Stephan, was too lazy to put a job title April 14, 2022

Everyone has their special wecial ‘wichy order they get at Cleve, but could the selection of meats and cheese mean more than satisfied taste buds? The universe works in mysterious ways, one of which...

Solving the mystery of my own murder

Sammy Fitts, Better Sherlock Than Bennadrill Cumberbun April 14, 2022

Everyone remembers the article about me being murdered. That article was a joke and I am not a replacement Sammy. The article called for help from the good readers of The Wire. Unfortunately, none of you...

Illustration by Madeleine Stolp.

Auntie Lee’s last minute thesis tools

Lee Thomas, Academic Genius April 14, 2022

Auntie – Please, dear God, help us. I gotta turn in my thesis draft soon, and my boyfriend just received some soul crushing feedback. Too much feedback. Please tell me you've got some thesis advice...

Illustration by Astrid Ketcham.

Wild West duel occurs over last good parking spot near Stanton

Grace Canny, Cannot Parallel Park April 14, 2022

On Sunday, as a hot wind blew through Walla Walla, the greatest showdown of the entire 2021-2022 academic year took place: a battle over the last decent parking spot near Stanton. A little before...

Illustration by Madi Welch.

Incredible evidence proves local guy liked Korean media before it was cool

Lee Thomas, indie kid sitting on a roof at night November 11, 2021

"People watch Squid Game and think they're experts in Korean TV. But I'm the expert. I've been watching K-dramas since the beginning of time."  This tweet from Twitter account @iheartkoreanbabes was...

Illustration by Shasta Soles.

Local vigilantes wage war on bicycle-wheel thieves

Conor Bartol, Mild-Mannered "Reporter" November 11, 2021

Bike theft is one of the most heinous and deplorable crimes, a scourge plaguing the Whitman community. Every day, more bikes have their wheels stolen by nefarious ne'er-do-wells. However, a brave group...

An open letter to leaf blowers

Carmel Stephan, The Lorax’s Bitch November 11, 2021

Dear Leaf Blowers, I write to you, mangled on the ground and far removed from my home tree, as a result of your treachery. But before I start, I would like first and foremost for you to know that I...

Illustration by Eli Rodriguez.

Tips and tricks for being the only straight cousin at Thanksgiving dinner

Sammy Fitts, Christmas starts on November 1st November 11, 2021

Ahh, Thanksgiving. Once you get past the acknowledgement of genocide and dehumanizing lies of friendship and betrayal; it’s a holiday about family and appreciation. I mean that’s what you’re giving...

Mike McGuinn Helps Bring Fun, Cool Musicians to Walla Walla

Michelle Foster, Staff Writer March 30, 2017

The music scene in Walla Walla is thriving with more diversity thanks to the efforts of, among others, Mike McGuinn. The owner of Urban Grow Systems, a hydroponics shop, McGuinn has worked to bring...

Ruth Fluno Today Will Be Yesterday exhibition opens at Sheehan Gallery

Ruth Fluno “Today Will Be Yesterday” exhibition opens at Sheehan Gallery

Michelle Foster, Staff Writer October 27, 2016

Bright, vivid paintings, featuring people, buildings, flowers and more now cover the walls of Whitman’s Sheehan Gallery. The new exhibitions are “Today Will Be Yesterday,” a Ruth Fluno retrospective,...

Live Blog: Issue 8

Live Blog: Issue 8

October 26, 2016

Things are looking good for Issue 8! We have some awesome content this week; I'm particularly looking forward to an article about Whitman's frolf course (including a beautiful map!), an article about the...

Jack Issue Letter from the Editors

Aleida Fernandez April 2, 2015

Dear Student Body: We give up. After nine months of listening to protests, staying up way too late on Production Night, responding to angry emails from frat presidents, falling asleep at ASWC senates...

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Issue 8