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Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Vol. CLVII
Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Solving the mystery of my own murder

Sammy Fitts, Better Sherlock Than Bennadrill Cumberbun April 14, 2022

Everyone remembers the article about me being murdered. That article was a joke and I am not a replacement Sammy. The article called for help from the good readers of The Wire. Unfortunately, none of you...

Illustration by Madeleine Stolp.

Auntie Lee’s last minute thesis tools

Lee Thomas, Humor Writer April 14, 2022

Auntie – Please, dear God, help us. I gotta turn in my thesis draft soon, and my boyfriend just received some soul crushing feedback. Too much feedback. Please tell me you've got some thesis advice...

An open letter to leaf blowers

Carmel Stephan, Humor Writer November 11, 2021

Dear Leaf Blowers, I write to you, mangled on the ground and far removed from my home tree, as a result of your treachery. But before I start, I would like first and foremost for you to know that I...

Live Blog: Issue 8

Live Blog: Issue 8

October 26, 2016

Things are looking good for Issue 8! We have some awesome content this week; I'm particularly looking forward to an article about Whitman's frolf course (including a beautiful map!), an article about the...

Jack Issue Letter from the Editors

Aleida Fernandez April 2, 2015

Dear Student Body: We give up. After nine months of listening to protests, staying up way too late on Production Night, responding to angry emails from frat presidents, falling asleep at ASWC senates...

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