Is more than half of your furniture sourced from the side of the road? Do you find yourself planning your days around events on the free food listserv? Have you recently purchased food of a questionable expiration date from Grocery Outlet because of a discount? If you answered yes to two or more of these questions, you might be broke, but don’t despair! I am here to help you with some life-changing budgeting tips!

Firstly, until you get your finances in order, only spend money on the bare essentials: food, rent and weed. It’s difficult, I know, but you will get through it! Now, keep in mind that budgeting isn’t everything. If you really want to fix your finances, consider a side hustle. However, it’s important to pick the right gig for you. Things like babysitting or dogwalking are far too much work for the busy life of a modern college student. Nowadays, it’s important to think outside the box.

For example, have you considered becoming an Etsy witch? It’s more lucrative than you might think! Grab some leaves or flower petals on your walk home tomorrow, throw them into a jar with some glitter and water and voila! You have yourself a $20 aura cleansing potion! Not particularly crafty? No worries! You can charge for custom spells. In fact, you can purchase a wealth attraction spell from my Etsy page right now for the low price of $15! If you want to learn more about becoming an Etsy witch, purchase a how-to guide in my Instagram bio.

There is another low-effort side hustle often overlooked by college students. When all else fails, sell your Adderall! If you decide to pursue this option, make sure to seek out the right market. In my experience, scouting out the library or the STEM hub late at night is a sure-fire way to find eager customers. Listen out for keywords like “O-Chem” or “thesis” to find those in particularly desperate situations.

Good luck and happy budgeting!