It’s not easy being a college student. It’s also not easy to be a curious individual such as myself. So imagine how difficult it is to be both. Every day, I have to wake up and go to class for a couple hours before I even get a chance to look at Instagram. Luckily, this year I have a couple tricks to get some more reels into my day.

Doom-scrolling is an art form. It’s an art form that I have spent years perfecting. For someone to even get close to my level, they first need to work on their schedule.

I start my day bright and early at 7:00 a.m. with the beautiful sounds of Instagram reels. It’s the perfect mix of humor and slop for a strong start to the day. I then take a short break to attend classes and get a bite to eat. Immediately following that, I have hours upon hours to scroll. It should be noted that one does not simply cram doom-scrolling into their schedule; they must build their schedule around doom-scrolling. Only then will they be able to master this art.

In 2025, I only averaged eight hours of doom-scrolling per day. But I spent a lot of money to buy this phone, so I’m going to use it as much as possible. That’s why, in 2026, I will double my numbers and go for an average of 16 hours per day. From MAGA propaganda to minion memes, I expect to see everything that Instagram has to offer. Maybe in 2027 I’ll work towards the full 24 hours of doom-scrolling.

Naturally, you may be wondering why you’d want to doom-scroll this much. What could the benefits possibly be? Firstly, you could’ve known what six-seven meant before any of your friends. Secondly, whenever someone sends you a reel, you can simply say, “I’ve already seen this one.” And lastly, you get to watch reels! What could be better than that? Nothing.