When the semester began, the Whitman class of 2029 swarmed campus with an arsenal of new slang terms at the ready. Upperclassmen, who were still trying to wrap their heads around skibidi toilet, were defenceless to this freshman assault.

“It’s ridiculous,” said one graying senior. “I have no clue what a Tralalelo Tralala even is!”

It’s an epidemic—every year a new freshman class brings a new set of slang to Whitman and every year, a new senior class has to scramble to decode it just to stay in the loop. But something is different this year—this time, even sophomores and juniors are left stumped.

“I don’t want to tell you how many times I’ve had to ask what six-seven means,” said one sophomore. “At least I get it when they call the US ‘unc.’”

Upperclassmen are beginning to worry. As freshmen, they saw nothing wrong with using words like ‘simp’ or ‘sus.’ But now, they wonder what damage they might have unleashed.

Even the sophomores are left wondering if they too fueled the cycle. There was no harm in calling something brat, right? It was popular at the time and everyone was saying it, including Kamala Harris! It couldn’t have caused damage in the same way… right? 

Let this serve as a warning to all future Whitman students. Whether you are chronically offline or live for the brainrot, your words may come back to haunt you. One day you’ll be left Googling the phrase that the kid behind you dropped in politics class. For now, all  we can do is close our eyes, take a deep breath and hope that ‘six-seven’ fades away faster than ‘skibidi Ohio rizz.’