Whitman ballers Fuck Shit Up

Pamela London

Move over basketball; step aside swimming and cross-country. There is a new sport in town, and it is taking campus by storm!

Ever heard of Fuck Shit Up?

Don’t worry if you said no, you are not alone. In a poll of various Whitman community members, 97 percent of students and faculty said they had never heard of such a sport. Two percent of respondents said they had heard of it, but not at Whitman. And one percent selected the option “I have fucking heard of Fuck Shit Up and thank god it is fucking finally coming to Whitman!”

Fuck Shit Up (FSU) goes back a long time: it was invented in 1883, ironically the same year as the founding of Whitman College. FSU is played at 17 institutions across the country, and is renowned for its iconic catchphrase “You going to Fuck Shit Up today?”

How does one play FSU? Junior Amy Smith likes to describe the game as “rugby meets hockey meets lacrosse with elements of baseball and quidditch.”

And the best part of it all?

“Oh yeah, you are on roller-skates the whole time!” said Smith. “That’s what makes this sport really unique.”

As for the player-to-player, physical combat, FSU is a free for all; anything is allowed in terms of tackling, tripping, everything.

“I love the do-anything aspect of FSU,” said first-year Drew Starbird. “It really is a great release for any stress or pent-up emotion I may have. When I play FSU I know I can go all out and nobody is going to judge me. I can literally just go out and fuck shit up!”

“We are proud to be Missionaries,” said Smith. “Now let’s go fuck shit up.”