Sometimes, when working for the Humor Section, the jokes just write themselves. The Republican Club letter is definitely one of those times! And, if you did miss it, worry not! You aren’t missing much! 

As a trans person myself, I’m not actually all that offended by the transphobic content of the letter. What I am offended by is the poorly written content— if you’re going to be bigoted, at least learn to write! Like, no, Googling synonyms doesn’t make the writing sound any less stupid. However, I was glad to see humans reclaiming jobs stolen by AI as sh*tty writers.

The authors, who I’ll leave unnamed (but have their full names listed on the letter), cooked up two pages of a constant regurgitation of previously made points about the title of the article, flavored with the type of Scrabble words you have to double-check in the dictionary — the horse is long dead, you can stop beating it!

They also managed to read the first of seven pages of the inciting measure. I’m so proud of them! If only they could comprehend what they were quoting instead of copying and pasting things out of context to try and seem smart.

Props to them for having the unadulterated gall to be so loud with their wrongness. But please, for the love of god, edit your work— the second-hand embarrassment causes me physical pain. 

I know they think they’re some Socratic, right-wing martyr who’s “owning the libs” but, really, they’re shooting themselves in the foot— and it’s both their 1st and 2nd Amendment rights to do so!  But it’s kind of depressing to watch… like watching a puppy drown in a sea of thesauri. Except, there’s nothing cute about this poorly written letter.

Times are scary, and a certain type of people want to use that fear to feel better about themselves. But history will show that, to paraphrase a wise philosopher, they think they the sh*t, but they’re not even the fart.