The great thing about Whitman is that you won’t have to put in much effort keeping up with fashion since you only need to shop at two places – REI and the bins at Goodwill.

But, if you’re still confused about what to do with your bucket hat and fleece zip-up vest, here are some tips on how to assemble a Whitman-worthy outfit for various occasions.

Class:

Before you throw that tote bag over your shoulder, make sure you have your baggiest outfit on — whether it’s a skirt and oversized shirt or jeans and an oversized hoodie. But that’s only if you’re an upperclassmen. If you’re a freshman, leggings or shorts paired with whatever Hollister top you bought in 2019 will do the trick.

Ankeny:

If you’re going out with a book in one hand and a spikeball net in the other, you’ll fit in just fine with a long pair of jorts and Birkenstocks. Just make sure you also pack your puffer jacket for when the clouds cover the sun’s eyes from your unshaved armpits.

Night Out on Isaacs:

If you’ve worn baggy shorts all day, I don’t expect you to change your look before you scout for a party (or for one of those groups of students who stand in front yards bumming off other people’s cigarettes like a New York pigeon). If you’ve been wearing jeans all day, however, you’ll probably want to swap your shirt for something black, sheer or corset-like. Have a beer in your back pocket for when those house parties get as dry as California, or as a conversation with a baseball player. 

Final Accessorizing:

At the end of the day, wherever you go or whatever you do, don’t forget to tuck one cigarette behind your ear. Just one — it’s the only one you can afford. You spent the rest of your money on Patagonia.