Walla Walla has recently undergone a surprising and late influx of snowfall in the past few weeks. While the snow has ceased and begins to melt away, the question remains on what potentially caused it. One could simply say the weather, but we at The Wire are far more scrutinous in our search for the truth. In our research, three potential theories have emerged on just what truly caused this great influx of ice and snow.

Theory #1: Corporate Snow Machine

One of the prime theories that has emerged is that these storms of snow have been the result of giant snow machines confidentially placed above the nearby Blue Mountains, powered by the kinetic energy of unwittingly exploited skiers. Given the political landscape, and of course, the propensity to waste money these days, this isn’t unfathomable. In fact, a recent proposal was made to use a similar such device to act as a coolant for the recent expansions to the nearby paper factory. Hopefully, there won’t be too much paperwork after this potential exposé.

Theory #2: Ice Wizards

Another contender for the cause is the meddling of a ticked-off ice wizard, who briefly blanketed Walla Walla for some wrong committed against them. One of my first articles highlighted a wizard of a different persuasion, but many are known to exist in this wide world of ours. Wizards in general are quite easy to irritate, especially if you happen to break something of theirs. With a snowstorm like this, it is likely that someone in Walla Walla broke their glasses. If you or someone you know has broken the glasses of a wizard, please get them replaced before said wizard causes a new ice age, or worse makes another Ice Age movie.

Theory #3: Someone Wished Really Hard

If this final theory is the correct answer, where one or multiple people wished for it to snow, I have only one thing to ask of you all: Why didn’t you wish for it in December!?