Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Vol. CLIV, Issue 5
Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

More Accurate Christmas Carols

O Christmas Tree:

O finals week

O finals week

Why study when there’s Xbox?

O finals week

O finals week

Why study when there’s Xbox?

Halo’s great, though violent be

And have you played Assassin’s Creed?

O finals week

O finals week

Why study when there’s Xbox?

 

O Come All Ye Faithful

Come on all you streakers

What the hell’s this bullshit

It’s now below zero and there’s

SNOW ON THE GROUND

 

Please put your clothes on

You’re paler than a snowstorm

Your junk is really tiny

Your junk is really tiny

Your junk is really tiny

Put your pants back on!

 

I Saw Three Ships (Come Sailing In)

I saw my grades go sailing out

On finals week, on finals week

I saw my grades go sailing out

On finals week in my math class

 

Who in this class can pull a B?

On finals week on finals week

Who in this class can pull a B?

On finals week in my math class

 

I promise you it is not me

On finals week on finals week

I promise you it is not me

On finals week in my math class

 

Silent Night

Druuuuuunken nights

Blaaaaackout nights

Ball and Chain

Top Gun, too

Freshmen dancing in ways that disgrace

No one cares ‘cus we’re all so shitfaced

Passed out on the TKE lawn

Passed out on the TKE lawn

 

Away in a Manger

I’m stuck here in Penrose

And I am distraught

My paper’s due Monday

And I had forgot

I hope an extension

Won’t fall on deaf ears

I’ve been here so long

That I’m almost in tears

 

We Three Kings

We three friends on Google Docs are

Reading out our projects so far

We’ve been waiting,

Now we’re hating:

Where is our fourth member?

Oh, John’s an asshole

John’s a dick

Never ever does his bit

Why’d Prof. Beechim

Pair us with him?

I’m so done with this shit

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