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Rosemary Hanson

April 24, 2014

@Downtonhaveme137 Looking for: Small estate in the country, quaint but not shabby. Decent staff, French cook a must. Gender: "Gentry," dear. Landed. Title: Duchess. Income: One does not discuss money. It is frightfully vulgar. Occupation: One does not "do," but has done f...

More Accurate Christmas Carols

Rosemary Hanson

December 12, 2013

O Christmas Tree: O finals week O finals week Why study when there's Xbox? O finals week O finals week Why study when there's Xbox? Halo's great, though violent be And have you played Assassin's Creed? O finals week O finals week Why study when there's Xbox?   ...

Who Stole My Seasonal Pies?: Part II

Who Stole My Seasonal Pies?: Part II

Rosemary Hanson

December 5, 2013

Winter nights in Walla Walla are long. Weary people sulk through the shadows, coming from nowhere in particular, going nowhere worth mentioning. I've worked some long nights as a campus student security officer, and winter nights are the longest. The air is full of tension, the people one thread from snapping. It wa...

Give Hoot about Oxford Comma

Rosemary Hanson

November 21, 2013

Lists. They are very important in our day-to-day lives. We use them at work, at school, and even in text-messages. Yet there has been a shocking development when it comes to lists at Whitman College in the classroom, written publications, and public discourse. It is the lack of the serial, Harvard,...

Ode to That Girl Who Jogs Past My House Every Day (A Sonnet)

Rosemary Hanson

November 21, 2013

Rosy-fingered dawn is not yet up And paper-ridden, I am not yet down Yet ‘ere the Starbucks sells its opening cup You are awake and jogging through the town   Each day in hot-pink track pants you endure As winter gods are practicing their might If Sisyphus were still alive,...

Students Just Want Snacks!

Students Just Want Snacks!

Rosemary Hanson

November 14, 2013

Recent polls by the Huffington Post have revealed a shocking fact: Despite commonly held beliefs about college students, the amount of snacks students consume is far less than it was 30 years ago. Similar polls on Whitman's campus confirmed this surprising decline. Though theories are abound, we decided to ask studen...

Stand Up for Justice, Sit Down When Tired!

Rosemary Hanson

November 7, 2013

While the rest of The Backpage writers are on strike, I've decided to conduct a one-woman sit-in to present the administration with the visible face of our struggle. I will not leave the Pio office –– even to go to class –– until this travesty of unequal pay is remedied. Day 1 Got pretty b...

Haunting on Issacs Avenue

Rosemary Hanson

October 31, 2013

Though North Hall has long been rumored to be the most haunted place on campus, recent reports coming out of Jewett Hall may challenge that claim. First-year roommates Alan Bazonrkinson and Bruce Stevens of 2-west report a number of disturbing occurrences. "We keep hearing voices at all hours of the...

Self-Guided Spirit Animal Quest

Self-Guided Spirit Animal Quest

Rosemary Hanson

October 3, 2013

Recommended: Have a friend read this out loud while you meditate. Close your eyes. Breathe. Try to breathe slowly –– fill you lungs with light, cool air and then let it go. But don't worry too much about the rhythm or speed. Just breathe as you have always done. Relax. Let the tension flow out of you –– ...

Comic

Comic

Ruth Hwang

September 6, 2012

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Comic

alexbailey

May 3, 2012

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