A Failed Attempt at an Encounters Paper

Elena Aragon

In the Bible, God acts as a benevolent figure, but not really, ’cause I really don’t wanna write this encounters paper. In the name of all that is holy, how the f*$% am I gonna put this piece of crap together? The reasons for his benevolence are shown in Luke 5:12, but I really don’t feel like finding an appropriate quote, let alone citing it in the correct MLA format. Jesus Christ, that’s a lot of freaking effort. One comma in the wrong place, and the whole thing’s screwed up. Back to the thesis: I don’t really have any cohesive statement of any significance whatsoever. Honestly, I’d rather be doing anything else. Gimme those Mastering Chem problems: I’ll do 50 of them. Oh damn, I guess this essay is worth 30 percent of my semester grade. Daaaang. If only I had any insight into this passage whatsoever! Perhaps I can make some unsubstantiated claims. Shoot, maybe my SA is here. Nope, it’s 3 a.m. Well, lemme just scatter some textual evidence all over this shizz. Argggh.