We go to Whitman, so we must be smart. Still, we do a lot of dumb shit. For instance, does drinking the night before you have every one of your classes stop you? No? Me neither.

The Diary of a Hungover Whittie

8:30 a.m. Wake up, feel like P. Diddy aka DEATH. Only two hours of sleep. Put on sweatshirt over shirt I wore to bed. Go to breakfast, try to eat. Spend most of the time with my head on the table.

9:00 a.m. Class. Longest 50 minutes of my life. Don’t say a word.

9:50 a.m. Pass out on Olin couch. Power nap.

11:00 a.m. Class. Again. Can’t keep eyes open. Thank God we’re watching a movie. No bright lights.

12:00 p.m. In bed. Curl up in fetal position. Eat granola bar.

1:00 p.m. Class. Have rallied for too long, not feeling too bad.

3:00 p.m. Take shower and get ready (like how normal people do in the morning, but in the afternoon)

3:45 p.m. Go to Starbucks with friends. Chill for a little bit.

5:00 p.m. Smoke a couple bowls.

6:15 p.m. Taqueria. Sooooooooooooooooooo Good.

6:50 p.m. Ice-Burg. Hot fudge and Reese’s milkshake. Om nom nom nom nom nom.

7:20 p.m. Watch Kanye’s “All of the Lights” video a few times. That shit is crazy.

8:00 p.m. Asleep. With computer still on lap.